Film Review: Watchmen

Will you watch the Watchmen?

There have been a few warning lights going off in my head every time the Watchmen film has been mentioned in the recent months. For a start, any film that's advertising campaign constantly reminds us of it being based on "the celebrated graphic novel of all time" was a reminder of all the other book to blockbuster adaptations that were commercially successful but otherwise stinking of mediocrity. Then there's the same adverts boasting that it's from Zack Snyder, the "visionary director" of the pretty but otherwise insubstantial graphic-novel based 300. Could the Watchmen prove any doubts false, and live up to the hype it's built up for itself over the past few months?

Everything starts off with a fairly loud bang when a retired costumed hero, known as The Comedian, is brutally murder by an unknown, but very well choreographed, assassin. It's a good start, but after this nothing significant really happens for well over an hour, leaving the opening half of the film feeling a little drawn out.

It's a good while into the film before everything starts kicking off, when the flesh starts coming out and the asses start getting kicked. There's enough bare arse on show to give the pre-pubescent bandwagon jumpers a trouser rocket for a week, provided they don't start prematurely leaking fuel as soon as the boobs get their few seconds of screen time. And of course there are the lovely fight sequences, which naturally look terrific thanks to Snyder's use of slow-motion, a technique used to great effect previously in 300. Where there is plot development it's not nearly as drawn out, giving Watchmen a much faster pace than earlier on. If only it had been like this for the first hour or so.

When it finally does come to a close, the ending of Watchmen is surprisingly satisfying, as it runs through the various flashbacks and seemingly insignificant remarks made by various characters and links them all together. As it turns out, there is still a fair amount of scenes that has no effect on the ending and could have easily been trimmed to keep Watchmen's pace up for longer, but since most of it seems at least slightly relevant, it's not all bad in hindsight.

So while Watchmen's story isn't too bad, albeit a little drawn out, it is the Watchmen themselves that make the film. The selection of unconventional and surprisingly original characters are well portrayed and are suitably complex, but by far the most interesting is the lead, Rorschach. The flannel-faced vigilante is just brilliant, ruthless and complex in equal measure, and as dark as the weird moving blotches on his mask. Maybe it's the trilby, maybe it's the coat, maybe it's the mask, or it could just be the gruff voice coming from it, but Rorschach is easily one of the best vigilantes ever to grace the big screen.

That said, while Watchmen is far from being a bad film, it's not about to shoot to the top of the "must see" list for 2009. The execution is generally pretty good; it's well choreographed, performed, and filmed, but it's just too long, and doesn't have enough going on to keep it entertaining for the whole three hours. It just begs the question why they didn't bin a couple of scenes from the final cut, considering they were willing to cut some of the scenes from the graphic novel. But still, overall it's an entertaining and near spectacular looking film, highly recommended if you're a comic book nerd looking for a darker take on the costumed hero genre.

3/5

A dirty mind may make Rorschach's flannel ink mildly hilarious.

Does not have a blue radioactive penis, but it will give you cancer. Wait, hang on - tomdoodle16@live.co.uk