TV Review: Heroes Season 3, Episode 13 "Dual"

With the third volume of Heroes coming to a close the final episode had to go out with a bang, to whet our appetites for the series' return in the new year. But with the season going around in circles, it was a toss up as to whether the finale, Dual, would please fans or simply frustrate them further.

Sylar replaces Mohinder for the opening speech, babbling on about the character's choices over the series before he unintentionally labels Heroes' plot and characters as the "ultimate cosmic joke". It's nice to see that the pretentious preaching is starting to make some sense.

The bulk of Dual is spent alternating between the two companies, with Peter and Nathan facing off at Pinehearst while Sylar toys with his prey at Primatech.

After incapacitating Nathan, Peter, everyone's favourite combat nurse, forms an uneasy partnership with Knox and Flint, and sets out to destroy the formula, and the cull of characters begins. First there's the random marine, who has so little screen time before his death that it's any wonder he was even introduced in the first place. It's even more mind boggling that the previous episode spent all that time giving him a tragic back story, attempting to highlight the tragedy of soldiers deaths in the Iraq war, but happily kills off this one without any of the characters so much as shedding a tear. In a season full of inconsistency and contradiction, this is possibly one of the most blatant examples of it yet.

Then there's Knox, who's death is brushed over just as quickly as the marine's. Why he's been cut from the show is another confusing move by the writers. Knox's character has masses of potential, not only because of his character but also because of his ability, which not only complimented his character as a villain, but also gave him a weakness and allowed him to be manipulated. He's the perfect character for something like Heroes, and tossing him aside after such a brief stint seems like such a waste.

The cull continues at Primatech, as Sylar puts the building on lock down, and pits the heroes against each other. It's a massive contrast to the fast paced action at Pinehearst, instead going for a more chilling, psychological horror angle. The scenes here make up the best parts of the episode, and at times are superbly done, but it never quite cuts it. It's far too predictable, so no matter what's on show there's never any real horror or excitement, which really takes the edge off what is otherwise a superbly done couple of scenes. At least, apart from one unintentional innuendo, when Claire reveals that she'd like to give Sylar a good spanking. Sometimes you just have to wonder if someone actually proofreads the script before it's sent out.

The rest of the episode is made up of Ando, Daphne and Matt trying to save Hiro, who is trapped in the past. To do this, they give Ando the formula, hoping that he'll end up with the ability to time travel. Instead, he becomes a "super charger", because having two characters with the same ability just doesn't happen (apart from West, but he was always an anomaly in every possible sense). The super charger ability is one that, as well as being conveniently different, just happens to work perfectly, as combined with Daphne's super speed. I'm fairly sure that every Heroes fan is a bona fide nerd at heart, so spotting the link to Einstein's theory of relativity shouldn't have been a difficult task for most of the audience, but instead Heroes decides to mount it's highest horse and patronise us for a little bit, before Matt delivers the least subtle "Hey kids, stay in school" message you'll ever see outside of Saturday morning cartoons. Apart from that blip, and Daphne's hilariously bad description of how she travelled in time (genuinely using "And you were there, and you were there"), it's surprisingly entertaining, and provides some welcome comic relief in what is otherwise a very serious episode.

It's not hard to guess that the end of Dual invariably concludes with the formula being destroyed in the most dramatic fashion possible (clue: it just happens to be highly combustible). But with Arthur dead, Sylar back to his old self, most of the new additions to the cast killed off and now the formula destroyed, it seems that we're right back where we started thirteen episodes ago, with the whole of volume three just going around in a big circle. The plot hasn't progressed, we have no deeper knowledge of the characters - other than the fact that they've all had some sort of weapons training in-between seasons - and it's fair to say that Heroes isn't learning from some of it's mistakes, still insisting on romantic sub plots. All the potential the show had in the first season seems to have slowly ebbed away, and we've been left with a series that doesn't know what to do with itself, and the rare occasion that the quality does shine through hardly seems worth it for all the dithering and backtracking that we have to put up with.

3/5

You know what though, I'll still be watching volume four, just because it gives me something to write about. I'm just that cool.

Would also give Sylar a good spanking - tomdoodle16@live.co.uk

Film Review: Twilight

Adapted from Stephenie Meyer's popular romance novel, Twilight had a variety of reputations to live up to, and to shake off. Cited by some for capturing the true essence of romance, and others for being over rated and repetitive literary dross, director Catherine Hardwicke had some huge challenges to overcome. Could she silence the doubters, while simultaneously giving the die-hard fans the film they so desperately wanted?

Twilight opens with Bella, portrayed by Kristen Stewert, voicing over a scene in which a lonely fawn is chased through the forest by an unknown predator, unsubtly conveying the outline of the film's plot. The symbolism is tragically obvious; the fawn resembling the innocent and vulnerable Bella, whilst the feral predator is her love interest Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), a vampire.

The plot advances at a snails pace, as we see Bella and Edward go through all the trademark awkwardness of a high school relationship. There's the awkward glances across the lunch hall, the awkward conversations in classes, and the awkward silences that usually follow with Edward and his gigantic coiffure storming out of the room. Everything, from the movement and expressions of the characters to the lines and their delivery, is over dramatised to the point where it all becomes laughable, apart from the occasional moments when it crosses the line into being painfully embarrassing to watch. Don't be surprised if you end up missing a lot of the film from burying your face in your hands. Don't worry though, it's likely that all you're missing is an extreme close up of someone's eyes.

Twilight doesn't really kick into gear until the last thirty minutes, when Edward's family of humanitarian vampires are confronted by a trio of more typical, bloodthirsty vampires. When they pick up Bella's scent, an obsessive hunt begins, as Bella is chased across the country by James (Cam Gigandet), a tracker vampire. By no means is it good, it still suffers from most of the flaws of the first three quarters of the film, but the added pace and action leave you feeling at least slightly entertained.

On top of this, Twilight is yet another example of a shoddy book-to-film adaptation. While the outlines of the story remain the same, there's the usual case of scenes from the novel being scrapped, or replaced with scenes that never happened. But, to be fair, it's easy to see why things were rearranged, as some of the lines that do make it into the screenplay are simply woeful, including a hilariously bad pun, when Edward describes Bella as being "like a drug, my own personal heroin", a line which better belongs in a badly written Harry Potter fan-fiction. The concept of vampires glittering like diamonds in sunlight, as opposed to the traditional combustion, is reduced to a couple of brief scenes, where Edward looks less like a glittering diamond and more like he's got a sticky vampiric sweat on.

Twilight is poor, as an adaptation and as a film. There are so few saving graces you'd have to amputate both hands if you wanted to count them on your fingers, and it's certainly not going to silence any critics of the novel, or satisfy the average film goer. But, if you're a fan, then this is worth checking out. A little plot meddling isn't going to ruin the greatest romantic epic of our time, is it?

2/5

What kind of blockbuster movie has a Volvo as the character's vehicle of choice?

Tell me that I deserve to die and have no understanding of the concept of true romance - tomdoodle16@live.co.uk

TV Review: Heroes Season 3, Episode 12 "Our Father"

After Sylar abandoned his rehabilitation and pissed a whole season of character development up the wall for no obvious reason in The Eclipse, Part Two it was difficult to see the last two episodes of Heroes going anywhere except circles. Hopefully episode twelve, Our Father, could silence any doubts.

Most of the episode takes place in the past, with Hiro trying to regain his memory, and Claire trying to prevent herself becoming the catalyst. After discovering that his mother can convenient heal after watching her nurse a dove back to health (that's some subtle symbolism you've got there, Heroes), Hiro tries to convince his mother to heal his mind, although not before being forced to cook her a meal - he ends up serving her waffles, as if that joke wasn't old already - and doing the obligatory simultaneous glasses adjustment with his younger self. It's trying to be cute more than anything, which ten year old Hiro is more than capable of, and while the scenes lack any real substance (aside from a fairly potent final scene between Hiro and his mother) it's fairly enjoyable.

Claire, meanwhile, is babysitting for her younger self after immediately securing the trust of her mother. Now I don't know many new mothers, but I'm fairly sure that no matter how overwhelmed you are, handing over your new adopted baby to a complete stranger is not the done thing? Masquerading as a neighbour's niece, Claire is easily caught out by Noah, but after she successfully persuades him she is trust worthy (although it's not clear why the incredibly sceptical and wary Noah trusts her so easily), she convinces him not to answer the call from the Company, preventing her from becoming the catalyst. Again, like the Hiro scenes it's going for a cuter theme than Heroes usually goes for, but since there's a baby involved it gets away with it. But there's still the issue of why two new parents would immediately trust a random girl with their child so readily. Come on Heroes, at least the social, real life aspect of the show has to be slightly believable.

Ando, Matt and Daphne continue to search for the last story of 9th Wonders in New York. After chasing down the reluctant bike messenger, they finally get their hands on Isaac Mendez's sketchbook, which seems to have miraculously changed colour from red to black over the course of the series. In it, they find the last story of 9th Wonders, depicting Hiro "lost in time". Which doesn't so much pose the question "how does Hiro get lost in time?", as "how does Isaac Mendez manage to paint the past?". Isaac Mendez paints the future, so how is he managing to accurately depict events fifteen years before his death in season one, when he wasn't present? Still, at least this is the last 9th Wonders and they can't refer back to it. It's not as if they're making it up as they go along, or anything like that, right? Oh...

With Elle's phone giving him a whole new list of people with abilities, Sylar goes after Sue Landers, a human lie detector. In rediscovering his hunger, Sylar also seems to have found a sense of humour, and the dark lines he utters make for some of the funniest moments in the show.

Peter, gun in hand (seriously, when did a nurse learn to fire a gun?), sets off with the Haitian to kill Arthur. After breaking through the robust Pinehearst security, consisting of one man asking for ID, they confront Arthur, who realises they're hunting him through an unintentionally hilarious "I sense a disturbance in the Force" moment. Father and son spend the next five minutes chatting until Peter finally pulls the trigger, only for the bullet to stop, spinning in the air, which was an effortlessly cool effect, and Sylar reappears.

The motivation behind Sylar stealing the power of lie detection was to undo a lot of this season's plot - haven't I written that line before? - and reveal that Sylar is, in fact, not a a Petrelli, which helps explain why the "I am your mother" line in the third episode was so brushed over and unconvincing. Then this just raises another question; how did Sylar randomly get empathetic mimicry, without being related to Peter? Now, two characters having the same power isn't unheard of, that's not the problem. Sylar showed no signs of having mimicry before the link to Peter and Arthur, and without that link even the piss weak explanation given for the ability ("Yeah, you always had it, duh") doesn't help to explain anything. It's a classic case of Heroes tripping over it's own feet and falling flat on it's face in the pile of shit it's laid for itself.

Finally, there's the catalyst, and it's possibly the most ridiculous element of the episode. The whole focus of this season has been on the far-fetched scientific element, and so, quite reasonably, you'd expect the catalyst to be something scientific too, right? Wrong. As it turns out, the catalyst is a magical light, passed on from one person or another through touch, it's about as scientific as Merlin joyriding Pegasus around Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The scientific side of Heroes has always been weakly reinforced, but the random addition of magic robs it completely of the credibility it never had, and is a dick move of the highest order.

The plot holes are growing larger and more numerous, and the potential Heroes had is slipping away. There's just no direction any more, and it's almost killed my enthusiasm for the series. If the final episode flops, it might be time to give up.

2/5

The sob story for the Pinehearst marine was rubbish, too. He sounded like he was from a bad Tom Clancy game.

Jesus Christ, these are getting long - tomdoodle16@live.co.uk

Game Review: Prince of Persia

After the series' success during the last generation of consoles it was only a matter of time before Ubisoft Montreal, the developers behind 2007's Assassin's Creed, attempted to relaunch the Prince of Persia franchise. Could the new Prince live up to the standards of the old, or would he fall at the first great leap?

Prince of Persia is the standard Dark versus Light story, with the Prince and his partner Elika fighting to suppress Ahriman, the black, gloopy god of all things corrupt and malevolent. The Prince himself is, simply put, one of the most arrogant characters in any game, reinforcing just about every possible stereotype and without an ounce of originality or wit in his character or speech. Elika isn't much better, playing that irritatingly Disney-esque Princess - who's strength is apparently hindered by her tiny, beautiful shell - a character that has been used so many times that she is now entirely predictable. With the Prince and Elika being polar opposites there's a lot of banter throughout the game, usually revolving around asking and subsequently evading personal questions, or each character's philosophy on the world, perfectly regurgitated from 'The Clichéd Guide to the Inner Workings of Heroes and Heroines'.
Did I mention she could use magic? No? Well, you probably could have figured it out anyway.

However, while the characters may get on your nerves, it won't be enough for you to stop playing, thanks to Prince of Persia's excellent gameplay.

Most of your time playing Prince of Persia will be spent running, jumping, and falling down holes, in true platformer style, although somehow without the frustration and irritation that usually comes as standard in similar games. The platforming element is extremely well polished and refined, and Ubisoft have nailed the flow that can make other, similar games great. Admittedly, it can occasionally feel a little simplistic because you'll often be attempting similar, and fairly basic, challenges, and it's not nearly as frantic as other platforming experiences on the 360 (such as Ninja Gaiden II), so seasoned or veteran gamers may find Prince of Persia a little easy, at times.

Early into the game, you'll unlock Power Plates, which open up a whole new dimension of platforming - and the basic platforming is hardly restrictive! Running up walls and along roofs, being blown by divine winds across the world and even flight are all now possible, and despite the games inherent linearity, gives a fantastic sense of freedom. They add to the difficulty, too, as later levels require you to meticulously combine basic platforming with the power plates, resulting in an incredibly satisfactory spectacle.

Combat takes a back seat in Prince of Persia, and on the rare occasion it does take place you'll be locked into it, and forced to fight. When it comes to controlling the Prince in combat it's similar to Assassin's Creed, encouraging you to wait for the opportune moment before attacking your enemy. Unfortunately, while the combat is fairly enjoyably the first time round, it quickly becomes quite repetitive, as you'll only fight six different types of enemy, and most will be fought the same way. Also, once you've figured out how to effectively deflect attacks (which won't be hard, because half the time you'll be prompted), the combat becomes insultingly easy, and more a test of graft than skill.

The combat isn't the only thing that resembles Assassin's Creed...

As well as being important to the story, Elika also plays a very important role in the gameplay. As well as being used in platforming and combat, Elika's unique talents also prevent you from properly dying at any point in the game. Admittedly this isn't really different to any other game that uses checkpoints or autosaves, but having the game hold your hand so tightly does take the edge off the challenge. There isn't that pants-crapping panic after you've made the wrong jump, or the in depth planning of a difficult looking run, because you'll never be punished for it without as much as a snide remark. It's not something that more seasoned or veteran players are going to appreciate.

Even strong, independent princesses can't turn down a piggy back ride.

Prince of Persia boasts a unique art style, similar to a comic book. As you traverse the huge palace you'll be stunned by some of the views, and it only becomes more impressive as you play. As you gradually bring light back into the world, you'll be treated to incredible colours, which contrast the dark, gloomy worlds controlled by Ahriman beautifully. The musical score, too, is gorgeous, and again there is a noticeable contrast between the music for the light and dark worlds. It works perfectly in tune with the game's world, creating a superb cinematic experience.

Prince of Persia makes the leap between generations with style. While there are flaws, it remains a stylish and fun game, and arguably one of the best platformers on the 360. If you liked Assassin's Creed, this is definitely worth a look.

8/10

Then again, Disney is making the Prince of Persia film, maybe that's why the characters were ripped right out of Aladdin.

Still gutted he never unlocked the Assassin's Creed costume - tomdoodle16@live.co.uk

TV Review: Heroes Season 3, Episode 11 "The Eclipse, Part Two"

There were high expectations for the second part of The Eclipse. But, despite following on from a solid and entertaining episode, there's always the possibility of a Heroes episode being just another disappointment. Hopefully, with the series seemingly going in the right direction again, this wouldn't be the case.

The episode opens with Hiro and Ando in a comic book store, owned by cameo kings Seth Green and Breckin Meyer. Believing he is still ten years old, Hiro frantically searches through the old issues of 9th Wonders, in an attempt to regain his lost memory. How 9th Wonders is still being published is still a mystery since the artist, Isaac Mendez, died over a year ago in this story arc. Maybe that one is best left unexplained. As per usual, the scenes with the ten year old Hiro are funny, charming viewing, and the cameos from Seth Green and Breckin Meyer (you know, that guy from er...what was he in again?) only add to the entertainment value.

We rejoin Sylar and Elle, who we saw through the sight of Noah's rifle at the end of the first part, curled up underneath a sheet after doing the super hero business. Despite having a perfect shot, it seems that the man with the horn rimmed glasses had instead opted for watching and having a brief self-fondle while watching the couple's antics. When he finally does take the shot (no, not like that), he misses, and is forced to give chase. Eventually he is confronted by a powerless Sylar, and wastes no time in kicking his arse and slitting his throat.

Meanwhile Claire, who has fallen into a critical condition, is dying in hospital, unable to repel the infections that swarmed through her body upon losing her powers. Nothing to do with the bullet wound though, obviously. Halfway through her stint in hospital, she codes and momentarily dies, in one of the most disturbing scenes in the show to date.

Conveniently, shortly after Claire and Sylar's death the Eclipse ends, conveyed oh-so-subtly with a hilariously overdone shot where the sunlight gradually creeps through the window onto Claire's unconscious body as she is revived. Conversely, the ending of the eclipse is a inconvenience for Mohinder, who finds his scales have regrown just as he is about to rekindle his relationship with Maya.

The eclipse brings back powers across the globe, which allows Nathan, Peter and the Haitian to fight their way in and out of Baron Samedi's military camp, saving the damsels in distress as they go. The fight scene raised a couple of questions; like when did Peter, a New York nurse, learn to fire a machine gun? However that question takes a back seat to asking why the hell the Haitian isn't included more in the series. Not only does he have a great power both in and outside of fights, he's a fairly complex and mysterious character, as well as being superbly portrayed by Jimmy Jean-Louis. Why he's constantly pushed to the fringes of the show to be replaced with girly-haired High School Musical rejects like West or yokel dullards like Flint is beyond reasoning.

With their powers back, Sylar and Elle do not hesitate in tracking down Claire, and hold the Bennet family hostage. At least, they do until Hiro Nakamura comically shows up and teleports the couple to a random beach. Then Heroes pulls off another one of it's famous dick moves, as Sylar decides that all his rehabilitation over the course of the season was pointless. Why does Heroes insist on developing characters or plots up to the point when it's about to get interesting, before doing another U-turn and wasting all of our time. There's no point, other than to continue to drag out the series with another season or two, and it's genuinely pathetic.

Even though the end of the episode was a heavy hint that the series is about to take yet another nose dive into the deep pits of mediocrity, the episode itself wasn't bad. It's a little heavy on the cheese sometimes, and as usual Heroes' trademark inconsistency is lurking around the corner of every scene, but that's to be expected. On the whole, it's still an enjoyable episode, and probably one of the better episodes this season.

3/5

Matt and Daphne also spend some time standing in a corn field talking about scare crows. Even the ass who wrote the Claire and West scenes was laughing at that.

Is thinking of starting a Haitian fan club - tomdoodle16@live.co.uk

So, December then.

With my review of Mirror's Edge, I hit a personal milestone of 50 written reviews, which I'm very happy about. Mostly because I've proven to myself that I can actually commit to something, which I've never really been able to do before.

I've got a few reviews planned for this month, too. Prince of Persia, Sonic Unleashed, and some of the other big games from the pre Christmas rush are on my list. There's also some downloadable content coming out for Fable 2 which I'll be looking to review.

Then there's Twilight, a film coming out in the UK on December 19th, and I'm really looking forward to this one. Not because I'm a fan of the books, or because I liked the look of the trailers. But because I think it will be bad, which gives me an chance to try out some more comedic or cynical writing, which I love doing. There's also a new Wallace and Gromit film out this Christmas, and it would be criminal if I didn't do a write up on that!

I'll be continuing the written TV reviews as usual, but there's something that I've wanted to try for a while, and that's a video review of the entire third season of Heroes. I'll be going for a different angle with the video reviews than I would with a written review. The balance will still be there, but it'll be hidden under several layers of cynical and crude rantings, similar to Charlie Brooker's style on his show 'Screenwipe'. I'm not sure how it will turn out, but I'll try and make it entertaining.

Hope you've enjoyed the reviews I wrote in November, and I hope you like whatever I come up with this month. As usual, feedback is more than welcome!

Cheers,

Tom

The cumulative word count for my first 50 reviews is 40,816. Which is 10,000 less than what my girlfriend managed in her one month of NaNoWriMo. Damn...

Refuses to dress up as Mrs Clause this year...again - tomdoodle16@live.co.uk

TV Review: Heroes Season 3, Episode 10 "The Eclipse, Part One"

The third season of Heroes is drawing to a close, and there is only so much more side swapping and line smudging to be done before the shows dramatic climax. With episode ten's focal point being a huge astronomical event, hopefully 'The Eclipse, Part One' could take place on a similarly impressive scale.

With Daphne and Matt experiencing trust issues, a lot of the episode is spent following the couple, joined by Ando and Hiro (who is still convinced that he is ten years old). While the romantic element is, as always, flat and clichéd, the presence of Ando and Hiro make the scenes infinitely more enjoyable. It's a reminder of how appealing the characters were in season one, back when they only spoke Japanese and when Hiro acted as if he was in a comic book. There are some quality lines and scenes, including one where Hiro flings corn at a bewildered Matt, and it's genuinely funny. And, for once, it's intentional. It doesn't do much, if anything, to advance the plot, but it's so entertaining you won't care.

Meanwhile, Sylar and Elle are attempting to track down Claire Bennet, the catalyst to the formula (which is possibly the most obvious plot twist in the entire series so far). Unlike Matt and Daphne, the relationship between Sylar and Elle is much more bearable, partly thanks to the characters themselves, and partly thanks to the depth and complexity of the relationship (even if it was made up to kill fifteen minutes of a flashback episode, it's still effective). The pair are constantly challenging each other, and the chemistry between the characters makes for great viewing, although the motivation behind the challenges is sketchy, at best.

The eclipse - the episodes namesake – happens halfway through the episode, and as a result everyone loses their powers. Why this happens hasn't been explained yet, although the scaly Spiderman is sure to deliver a half-arsed explanation at some point. With DNA, adrenaline, formulas, viruses and now the moon having some effect on the extra ordinary abilities, Heroes is rapidly loosing the credibility and believability that it barely ever had. If the show didn't insist on taking itself so seriously, this wouldn't be an issue.

The loss in powers forces Nathan and Peter, who are searching for the Haitian, to fall into the jungle. The conflict between the two - with Peter confronting Nathan about the future, believing that Nathan will join his father and destroy the world – is a nice reminder of the characters interactions in the first season, as the powerless but moral younger brother tries to help his corruptible sibling. Peter reprising the role that made him such a popular character in the first season is excellent, and it's a massive improvement on the supercharged, overly dramatic version of Peter that we've been subjected to for the bulk of season two and three.

Episode ten builds up the suspension well for the next episode, and has managed a steady balance between comedic and serious elements. Mohinder and his silly theories get a little too much time, but otherwise it's a solid, entertaining episode.

3/5

If you were wondering why Claire and Mohinder are barely mentioned in the review, it's because all Claire did is hit things with sticks, and all Mohinder did was waffle and cough.

Never thought he'd start to like Peter again - tomdoodle16@live.co.uk