Just stuck all the reviews up, even though I said I'd do it a week or so ago (although to be fair, you probably didn't expect much else considering the fuck all I've done for the last few months). Usual stuff: hope you enjoy reading them, feedback is very welcome.
Sorry for the lack of pictures, but when you've got to look up and think of captions for three-four different pictures for each review, the idea of doing that four times in a row is a little off-putting.
Oh yeah, you'll notice the Resident Evil 5 review is a little less, er, restrained than the usual stuff. I just wanted to try something a little different because I thought it was complete turd.
Anyway, now that all that is out of the way, moving swiftly on to relevant games. Recently I've been playing The Sims 3, Prototype and Red Faction: Guerilla, all really very good games that will all be getting the usual treatment (the draft for Prototype has already been done, expect that first). I've also picked up the Transformers 2 game recently. No idea why I did that, but unsurprisingly it's balls so far. Whodathunkit?
So that's what you can expect from me in the coming weeks, and hopefully some other stuff (you might have seen some satirical articles earlier this month, more on those tomorrow).
Sorry for the delay!
Tom
Saturday 27 June 2009
Game Review: X-Men Origins: Wolverine [Uncaged Edition]
With the summer blockbusters making their appearances on the big screen the line up of naff movie tie-in games drag themselves onto the shelves, as developers try to cash in on six months of half hearted work by slapping a license on the cover. You'd be forgiven for dismissing most of them without a second thought - such as the upcoming and inevitably poor Gears of War rip-off Terminator Salvation - but then there's a chance you'll miss out of one of the rare gems that the franchise flogging produces. It's the first of the summer blockbusters, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, that has surprisingly spawned one of the better movie tie-in games - specifically it's Uncaged Edition.
Wasting absolutely no time throwing you into the fray, X-Men Origins: Wolverine begins as Wolverine's helicopter is shot down over Africa and you're forced to skydive sans parachute through a barrage of gunfire and oncoming missiles, before slamming into the jungle below miraculously unscathed and unsheathing the iconic metal (well, bone at the moment) claws. It's a fantastic opening, instantly grabbing you by the balls and launching you straight into the nitty gritty - the combat.
Combat revolves around the three familiar moves - light, heavy and grab attacks - and chaining them for different combos. It's fairly simple, mostly just a case of mashing the light attack button before finishing with a heavy attack, but it's incredibly stylish and flows brilliantly, and with the gradual addition of Lunge and Rage attacks the combat remains surprisingly varied throughout. If you have fond memories of playing through the likes of Ninja Gaiden II, then you'll feel right at home.
Then X-Men Origins: Wolverine puts a dark, blood red cherry on top. The game's Uncaged Edition boasts the kind of brutality and gore unheard of in the typical, family friendly movie tie-ins, and it's absolutely brilliant. Watching as Wolverine mercilessly tears his enemy in two is incredibly satisfying, and with cinematic camera angles and excellently timed slow-motion sequences it's rarely going to become boring. So with it's flowing, satisfying and shamelessly brutal combat, X-Men Origins will genuinely make you feel like iconic mutant. And it's a brilliant feeling.
Well, it's a brilliant feeling when you're against the variety of standard enemies the game will throw at you, but once you come up to a boss fight everything comes crashing back down into typical tie-in mediocrity. They're mind numbingly repetitive, with every boss fight playing out exactly the same way - dodge, lunge, hack, repeat - and with each boss boasting massive health you'll probably spend a good five minutes using that same combination of moves over and over again. Because dealing with bosses is a more a test of graft than skill, when they finally do buckle there's no sense of accomplishment whatsoever, just the disappointment of knowing that the five or ten minutes you spent lunging onto that thing's back could have been better spent cutting someone's face off.
While the boss fights will always be repetitive, there's enough of other elements in X-Me Origins: Wolverine to keep the rest of the gameplay relatively fresh. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to have been as much effort put into these sections as there was into the combat.
The big secondary elements is the Tomb Raider style platforming and puzzle solving, which mostly takes place during the Africa-based missions. It's competent, but that's it. There's just nothing exciting about it; the puzzles are very simple and Wolverine's movement - in stark contrast to his fighting style - lacks the kind of flair that made other platformers more enjoyable. It's fairly bland and the puzzles and challenges are blatantly replicated, but it helps to keep the combat fresh. It's just a shame they couldn't put a little more effort into it.
Not wanting to undermine the mediocre reputation of movie tie-ins by making something decent, X-Men Origins then throws quick time events and even a dodgy vehicle section into the mix. Fortunately the vehicle section is only a few minutes long, although that just asked questions of why it was included in the first place as it's not necessary for the development and it's barely challenging or even fun, it's as if they threw it in just to kill time before unleashing you on some more hapless soldiers. The quick time events, while visually impressive, feel even more restrictive than usual after experiencing the game's free-flowing combat.
There are a couple of unlockables in X-Men: Origins, but they're not the kind that will keep you coming back for more. With the storyline being so linear (and also fairly short) the hard mode you'll unlock on completion probably isn't going to encourage another play through. Neither are the costumes to unlock, as expectedly the novelty for them wears of very quickly.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine will go down as one of the better movie tie-ins, but even then it's still barely rising above average. The combat is the only real plus point with everything else feeling half-arsed and tedious by comparison, and combined with it's linearity and lack of replayability this is a rental at most. Still, if you want the sensation of being Wolverine, this is definitely the best place to get it.
Summary: While pretty much everything is fairly lacklustre, the combat in X-Men Origins: Wolverine: Uncaged Edition makes what would otherwise be a bland movie tie-in an enjoyable, dynamic and highly brutal experience.
Wasting absolutely no time throwing you into the fray, X-Men Origins: Wolverine begins as Wolverine's helicopter is shot down over Africa and you're forced to skydive sans parachute through a barrage of gunfire and oncoming missiles, before slamming into the jungle below miraculously unscathed and unsheathing the iconic metal (well, bone at the moment) claws. It's a fantastic opening, instantly grabbing you by the balls and launching you straight into the nitty gritty - the combat.
Combat revolves around the three familiar moves - light, heavy and grab attacks - and chaining them for different combos. It's fairly simple, mostly just a case of mashing the light attack button before finishing with a heavy attack, but it's incredibly stylish and flows brilliantly, and with the gradual addition of Lunge and Rage attacks the combat remains surprisingly varied throughout. If you have fond memories of playing through the likes of Ninja Gaiden II, then you'll feel right at home.
Then X-Men Origins: Wolverine puts a dark, blood red cherry on top. The game's Uncaged Edition boasts the kind of brutality and gore unheard of in the typical, family friendly movie tie-ins, and it's absolutely brilliant. Watching as Wolverine mercilessly tears his enemy in two is incredibly satisfying, and with cinematic camera angles and excellently timed slow-motion sequences it's rarely going to become boring. So with it's flowing, satisfying and shamelessly brutal combat, X-Men Origins will genuinely make you feel like iconic mutant. And it's a brilliant feeling.
Well, it's a brilliant feeling when you're against the variety of standard enemies the game will throw at you, but once you come up to a boss fight everything comes crashing back down into typical tie-in mediocrity. They're mind numbingly repetitive, with every boss fight playing out exactly the same way - dodge, lunge, hack, repeat - and with each boss boasting massive health you'll probably spend a good five minutes using that same combination of moves over and over again. Because dealing with bosses is a more a test of graft than skill, when they finally do buckle there's no sense of accomplishment whatsoever, just the disappointment of knowing that the five or ten minutes you spent lunging onto that thing's back could have been better spent cutting someone's face off.
While the boss fights will always be repetitive, there's enough of other elements in X-Me Origins: Wolverine to keep the rest of the gameplay relatively fresh. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to have been as much effort put into these sections as there was into the combat.
The big secondary elements is the Tomb Raider style platforming and puzzle solving, which mostly takes place during the Africa-based missions. It's competent, but that's it. There's just nothing exciting about it; the puzzles are very simple and Wolverine's movement - in stark contrast to his fighting style - lacks the kind of flair that made other platformers more enjoyable. It's fairly bland and the puzzles and challenges are blatantly replicated, but it helps to keep the combat fresh. It's just a shame they couldn't put a little more effort into it.
Not wanting to undermine the mediocre reputation of movie tie-ins by making something decent, X-Men Origins then throws quick time events and even a dodgy vehicle section into the mix. Fortunately the vehicle section is only a few minutes long, although that just asked questions of why it was included in the first place as it's not necessary for the development and it's barely challenging or even fun, it's as if they threw it in just to kill time before unleashing you on some more hapless soldiers. The quick time events, while visually impressive, feel even more restrictive than usual after experiencing the game's free-flowing combat.
There are a couple of unlockables in X-Men: Origins, but they're not the kind that will keep you coming back for more. With the storyline being so linear (and also fairly short) the hard mode you'll unlock on completion probably isn't going to encourage another play through. Neither are the costumes to unlock, as expectedly the novelty for them wears of very quickly.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine will go down as one of the better movie tie-ins, but even then it's still barely rising above average. The combat is the only real plus point with everything else feeling half-arsed and tedious by comparison, and combined with it's linearity and lack of replayability this is a rental at most. Still, if you want the sensation of being Wolverine, this is definitely the best place to get it.
Summary: While pretty much everything is fairly lacklustre, the combat in X-Men Origins: Wolverine: Uncaged Edition makes what would otherwise be a bland movie tie-in an enjoyable, dynamic and highly brutal experience.
Game Review: Street Fighter IV
If you've ever had a relationship with games during your life, chances are that you've had an affair with Capcom's Street Fighter series. Whether you remember spending your youth slotting coin after coin into arcade machines because you were only one near-impossible fight away from facing the final boss or muting the TV because you were playing long past your bedtime, fond memories of this arcade fighter will have resurfaced from the back of your mind when the latest addition to the classic series, Street Fighter IV, arrived to the Xbox 360. But how does the daddy of arcade fighters compare to the young upstarts of the later generations?
Everything looks to be shaping up nicely thanks to the awesome introduction, as old favourites from the Street Fighter roster show off the fancy new art style with even fancier moves. As you recognise iconic fighters from the series you'll marvel as their new moves splatter the screen with paint and bursts of colour, and salivate at the prospect of joining the fights yourself.
When you get into the fight, everything feels very familiar. Very little has changed since the original Street Fighter over twenty years ago. It's still the classic 2-dimensional gameplay that made the series famous, with all the characters and moves from the older games as well as all the new characters, stages and special moves that you'd expect from a sequel. Even though it's essentially the same game from twenty years ago, the new moves and superb graphics keep it surprisingly fresh, at least until you begin the frustrating process of actually trying out the fancy new techniques.
Pulling off anything more flamboyant than a timid poke can be among the most fiddly and frustrating experiences imaginable. Instead of the A, B X and Y combinations used by other fighters, combinations and special moves in Street Fighter are mostly done by flicking the thumbstick in various different directions. This sounds fine in theory because it worked back in Street Fighter's arcade days, but in practice it doesn't really work. Unlike the stocky joysticks of old, the 360's thumbsticks are just too slippery to pull of the movements needed for most of the combos, so unless you're lucky or very, very patient (which you're most likely not, because you're playing Street Fighter IV), most matches are going to make you feel like Alfie Patten fumbling for the clitoris rather than a hardcore Street Fighter.
Without the flashy moves, Street Fighter feels slow and clunky. With only the occasional fluky Hadouken to add spark to three rounds of sloppy kicks and failed grabs, even playing versus with a friend can be a repetitive and dull experience. This isn't something you can dip in and out of and really enjoy, so unless you're willing to plough hours of your life into learning the moves and experimenting with the characters it's probably not going to be as fun as other fighters.
But if you do take the time to get into Street Fighter IV, you're going to find that it's time well spent, as Street Fighter has a level of depth that other fighters just don't have. Fights will become faster and unpredictable as you learn the strategies and special moves, and everything will feel so much more satisfying than it did when you first picked up the controller and fumbled your way to victory. It's time consuming but genuinely rewarding, and you're going to be getting so much more from Street Fighter if you're a little patient with it.
The patience needed to master the tricks of Street Fighter will come in handy for when you attempt the single player modes. Not because they're particularly long, just because resisting the urge to hurl your Xbox, controller and television out of the window after the final boss beats you to a bloody pulp for the umpteenth time in a row is going to require the patience of a saint, and unless you've got your head round the flicky, fiddly combinations this game is going to relentlessly kick your ass until you're left in a broken mess, sobbing in the corner of your bedroom as the television taunts you with yet another hilarious bad win quote and mocking countdown. Again, it's not the sort of thing you can dip in and out of and really enjoy, but if you're willing to persevere with the challenge you'll get so much more satisfaction from it.
So, despite the franchise's iconic status, Street Fighter IV is still going to divide opinion. The fiddly controls, sloppy fights and seemingly unassailable difficulty curve are going to be a real turn off for some. But for others, the nostalgic glee of chaining Shoryukens before blowing away their rival with an Ultra combo is going to be the most satisfying feeling in the world. It all depends what you want from a game like this; if you want an arcade fighter that can be picked up every month or so then Street Fighter IV isn't bad, but you'd probably have more fun with something else. However, if you want to spend hours mastering an in-depth fighter with a variety of characters, moves and challenges, this is probably the best one out there. Now you just have to work up the courage to leave your mum's basement and go outside to buy it.
Summary: Street Fighter IV successfully brings the franchise out of the cold, dank hole of HD remakes and into the next generation, but pretty colours won't mask the fiddly controls and insane difficulty that will likely put off most players outside the hardcore crowd.
Everything looks to be shaping up nicely thanks to the awesome introduction, as old favourites from the Street Fighter roster show off the fancy new art style with even fancier moves. As you recognise iconic fighters from the series you'll marvel as their new moves splatter the screen with paint and bursts of colour, and salivate at the prospect of joining the fights yourself.
When you get into the fight, everything feels very familiar. Very little has changed since the original Street Fighter over twenty years ago. It's still the classic 2-dimensional gameplay that made the series famous, with all the characters and moves from the older games as well as all the new characters, stages and special moves that you'd expect from a sequel. Even though it's essentially the same game from twenty years ago, the new moves and superb graphics keep it surprisingly fresh, at least until you begin the frustrating process of actually trying out the fancy new techniques.
Pulling off anything more flamboyant than a timid poke can be among the most fiddly and frustrating experiences imaginable. Instead of the A, B X and Y combinations used by other fighters, combinations and special moves in Street Fighter are mostly done by flicking the thumbstick in various different directions. This sounds fine in theory because it worked back in Street Fighter's arcade days, but in practice it doesn't really work. Unlike the stocky joysticks of old, the 360's thumbsticks are just too slippery to pull of the movements needed for most of the combos, so unless you're lucky or very, very patient (which you're most likely not, because you're playing Street Fighter IV), most matches are going to make you feel like Alfie Patten fumbling for the clitoris rather than a hardcore Street Fighter.
Without the flashy moves, Street Fighter feels slow and clunky. With only the occasional fluky Hadouken to add spark to three rounds of sloppy kicks and failed grabs, even playing versus with a friend can be a repetitive and dull experience. This isn't something you can dip in and out of and really enjoy, so unless you're willing to plough hours of your life into learning the moves and experimenting with the characters it's probably not going to be as fun as other fighters.
But if you do take the time to get into Street Fighter IV, you're going to find that it's time well spent, as Street Fighter has a level of depth that other fighters just don't have. Fights will become faster and unpredictable as you learn the strategies and special moves, and everything will feel so much more satisfying than it did when you first picked up the controller and fumbled your way to victory. It's time consuming but genuinely rewarding, and you're going to be getting so much more from Street Fighter if you're a little patient with it.
The patience needed to master the tricks of Street Fighter will come in handy for when you attempt the single player modes. Not because they're particularly long, just because resisting the urge to hurl your Xbox, controller and television out of the window after the final boss beats you to a bloody pulp for the umpteenth time in a row is going to require the patience of a saint, and unless you've got your head round the flicky, fiddly combinations this game is going to relentlessly kick your ass until you're left in a broken mess, sobbing in the corner of your bedroom as the television taunts you with yet another hilarious bad win quote and mocking countdown. Again, it's not the sort of thing you can dip in and out of and really enjoy, but if you're willing to persevere with the challenge you'll get so much more satisfaction from it.
So, despite the franchise's iconic status, Street Fighter IV is still going to divide opinion. The fiddly controls, sloppy fights and seemingly unassailable difficulty curve are going to be a real turn off for some. But for others, the nostalgic glee of chaining Shoryukens before blowing away their rival with an Ultra combo is going to be the most satisfying feeling in the world. It all depends what you want from a game like this; if you want an arcade fighter that can be picked up every month or so then Street Fighter IV isn't bad, but you'd probably have more fun with something else. However, if you want to spend hours mastering an in-depth fighter with a variety of characters, moves and challenges, this is probably the best one out there. Now you just have to work up the courage to leave your mum's basement and go outside to buy it.
Summary: Street Fighter IV successfully brings the franchise out of the cold, dank hole of HD remakes and into the next generation, but pretty colours won't mask the fiddly controls and insane difficulty that will likely put off most players outside the hardcore crowd.
Game Review: Resident Evil 5
Before I sink my teeth into the jugular of Resident Evil 5 it's only fair that you all know exactly whose opinion you're about to read (or skim over to quickly check the score, either way). This is all coming from someone who has not only never played any of the Resident Evil series before this, but who has not even bothered to play this one all the way through. So if the idea of reading the opinions of a jaded and overly cynical misanthrope appeals to you then by all means read on, but if you'd rather ignore them because said misanthrope didn't do his homework properly, then you might as well stop round about now.
So then, Resident Evil 5 is the latest instalment in Capcom's highly successful survival horror series. At least that's what I've been told, because from where I'm standing (or rather sitting, typing furiously) it doesn't seem anything like the latest instalment in a survival horror series. Rather it seems like the fat, clumsy, wannabe action hero cousin of the series, that has deluded itself into thinking that because it shares the name of the older generations it's capable of achieving the same tension and horror that they could. It can't.
The obvious reason for Resident Evil 5 being incapable of spooking anyone old enough to cross the road by themselves is that it makes the same mistake that every other developer trying to redefine horror makes: putting you in the body of a heavily muscled agent carrying a large and fully loaded machine gun. For some reason developers don't seem to clue onto the fact that no matter what kind of horrors they think of, it's not going to be scary if we're handed an assault rifle and a handful of grenades. Thanks to Resident Evil 5 performing the same dick move, any potential horror elements are instantly dismissed as protagonist Chris Redfield grabs hold of his mighty weapon and fires a load in it's face. Shortly before shooting it with his gun.
The blame doesn't lie completely with the lousy choice of protagonist, because it's not as if anything in Resident Evil 5 could ever qualify as proper horror anyway. As it turns out the "Fear you can't forget" is usually a bunch of African blokes (or occasionally African dogs) with garden tools who exhibit a strange tendency to grow tentacles from their mouth. Once you remember just how white your burly, gun-toting protagonist is, it becomes very easy to mistake Resident Evil 5 for a glorified retelling of Apartheid, and as soon as you start making similar connections connections every politically incorrect fibre of your being is going to find the experience hilarious rather than unforgettably terrifying.
By carelessly throwing the survival horror aspect aside Resident Evil 5 forces itself into becoming a third person shooter, something which it isn't terribly good at. Emphasis on the terribly. Actually, just get rid of the "good" altogether and stick with terrible. Yeah, that sounds about right.
"Terrible" might sound harsh, but there's so much wrong with Resident Evil 5 that it's totally warranted. Character movement, or lack of it, is a good place to start, with Chris Redfield's hulking upper body doing little to disguise the fact that his legs don't work properly. Don't get me wrong, he's rather good at walking in a straight line but once he finds himself in a more difficult scenario - such as walking around a corner - he slows right down, a particularly unhelpful trait when there's ten or twenty tentacle-faced Africans threatening you with spades.
You could always try shooting the Africans before you take on the dreaded and almighty corner, but there's a problem with that too; Chris Redfield can't move and shoot at the same time. Maybe dynamic shooting is something they forgot to teach in super-secret-anti-biohazard-terrorist-agent boot camp, or maybe it's just representational of how Chris Redfield is the last bastion of defence for the white man against the rabid indigenous populace. Either way it's completely broken from a gameplay perspective, further restricting the already embarrassingly clunky movement and robbing Resident Evil 5 of any pace it may have had. Yes, I realise that all the other Resident Evils played in the same way, and that if 5 didn't perform this seemingly obligatory fan service then there'd be an outcry from the fatter, nerdier, mother's-basement-dwelling portion of the fanbase who'd claim it "just wasn't Resident Evil". But if anything that just highlights how dated the series has become if Capcom, in their ineptitude (or reluctance to lose fan's tongues from their backsides), haven't changed it in the thirteen years since it's debut.
The inventory isn't exactly intuitive either. Once again you're forced to stand still and watch as the locals gather foaming at the tentacles, except now you're not even capable of fighting back because Chris is too busy rummaging through his pockets to do anything else. Once he finally does find what he's looking for he then takes a little bit more time to decide what he actually wants to do with it, although by this time it doesn't really matter because half of his body has already been digested.
Fortunately there's always your partner (who for some reason is named after the midget spaceman from Pikmin) to occasionally provide a distraction while you fumble around with aiming or rummaging. Unfortunately she's utterly useless and spends most of her time either wasting ammo that you've graciously collected for her or getting in the way. Unless you've blackmailed a friend into playing co-op then her only real use is as a pack mule, although doing that requires you to fiddle with the horribly unintuitive inventory again, which nobody in their right mind would want to do.
In case you haven't yet figured out what I'm driving at here, let me be clear: Resident Evil 5 is a bad game. Everything about it - movement, shooting, inventory, dialogue, camera, whatever - is either clunky, dated, unintuitive or a combination of all three. There simply isn't anything about it that could possibly convince me to recommend it to anyone, at least not anyone I liked. The only people who might get something out of this are the fans, but it's not like I need to tell them that. They've already beaten it twice and are now spending their evenings re-watching the cutscenes for the hundredth time while tentatively rubbing themselves with a Jill Valentine action figure. Until they read this of course. Then they're coming to kill me. Good news is they have to stand perfectly still when they try to attack, so maybe I can get a head start.
Summary: The series' debut on the new generation plays like it belongs on the old ones. Capcom needs to stop catering for the fans, otherwise their next release is just going to be as dated and disappointing as this one.
So then, Resident Evil 5 is the latest instalment in Capcom's highly successful survival horror series. At least that's what I've been told, because from where I'm standing (or rather sitting, typing furiously) it doesn't seem anything like the latest instalment in a survival horror series. Rather it seems like the fat, clumsy, wannabe action hero cousin of the series, that has deluded itself into thinking that because it shares the name of the older generations it's capable of achieving the same tension and horror that they could. It can't.
The obvious reason for Resident Evil 5 being incapable of spooking anyone old enough to cross the road by themselves is that it makes the same mistake that every other developer trying to redefine horror makes: putting you in the body of a heavily muscled agent carrying a large and fully loaded machine gun. For some reason developers don't seem to clue onto the fact that no matter what kind of horrors they think of, it's not going to be scary if we're handed an assault rifle and a handful of grenades. Thanks to Resident Evil 5 performing the same dick move, any potential horror elements are instantly dismissed as protagonist Chris Redfield grabs hold of his mighty weapon and fires a load in it's face. Shortly before shooting it with his gun.
The blame doesn't lie completely with the lousy choice of protagonist, because it's not as if anything in Resident Evil 5 could ever qualify as proper horror anyway. As it turns out the "Fear you can't forget" is usually a bunch of African blokes (or occasionally African dogs) with garden tools who exhibit a strange tendency to grow tentacles from their mouth. Once you remember just how white your burly, gun-toting protagonist is, it becomes very easy to mistake Resident Evil 5 for a glorified retelling of Apartheid, and as soon as you start making similar connections connections every politically incorrect fibre of your being is going to find the experience hilarious rather than unforgettably terrifying.
By carelessly throwing the survival horror aspect aside Resident Evil 5 forces itself into becoming a third person shooter, something which it isn't terribly good at. Emphasis on the terribly. Actually, just get rid of the "good" altogether and stick with terrible. Yeah, that sounds about right.
"Terrible" might sound harsh, but there's so much wrong with Resident Evil 5 that it's totally warranted. Character movement, or lack of it, is a good place to start, with Chris Redfield's hulking upper body doing little to disguise the fact that his legs don't work properly. Don't get me wrong, he's rather good at walking in a straight line but once he finds himself in a more difficult scenario - such as walking around a corner - he slows right down, a particularly unhelpful trait when there's ten or twenty tentacle-faced Africans threatening you with spades.
You could always try shooting the Africans before you take on the dreaded and almighty corner, but there's a problem with that too; Chris Redfield can't move and shoot at the same time. Maybe dynamic shooting is something they forgot to teach in super-secret-anti-biohazard-terrorist-agent boot camp, or maybe it's just representational of how Chris Redfield is the last bastion of defence for the white man against the rabid indigenous populace. Either way it's completely broken from a gameplay perspective, further restricting the already embarrassingly clunky movement and robbing Resident Evil 5 of any pace it may have had. Yes, I realise that all the other Resident Evils played in the same way, and that if 5 didn't perform this seemingly obligatory fan service then there'd be an outcry from the fatter, nerdier, mother's-basement-dwelling portion of the fanbase who'd claim it "just wasn't Resident Evil". But if anything that just highlights how dated the series has become if Capcom, in their ineptitude (or reluctance to lose fan's tongues from their backsides), haven't changed it in the thirteen years since it's debut.
The inventory isn't exactly intuitive either. Once again you're forced to stand still and watch as the locals gather foaming at the tentacles, except now you're not even capable of fighting back because Chris is too busy rummaging through his pockets to do anything else. Once he finally does find what he's looking for he then takes a little bit more time to decide what he actually wants to do with it, although by this time it doesn't really matter because half of his body has already been digested.
Fortunately there's always your partner (who for some reason is named after the midget spaceman from Pikmin) to occasionally provide a distraction while you fumble around with aiming or rummaging. Unfortunately she's utterly useless and spends most of her time either wasting ammo that you've graciously collected for her or getting in the way. Unless you've blackmailed a friend into playing co-op then her only real use is as a pack mule, although doing that requires you to fiddle with the horribly unintuitive inventory again, which nobody in their right mind would want to do.
In case you haven't yet figured out what I'm driving at here, let me be clear: Resident Evil 5 is a bad game. Everything about it - movement, shooting, inventory, dialogue, camera, whatever - is either clunky, dated, unintuitive or a combination of all three. There simply isn't anything about it that could possibly convince me to recommend it to anyone, at least not anyone I liked. The only people who might get something out of this are the fans, but it's not like I need to tell them that. They've already beaten it twice and are now spending their evenings re-watching the cutscenes for the hundredth time while tentatively rubbing themselves with a Jill Valentine action figure. Until they read this of course. Then they're coming to kill me. Good news is they have to stand perfectly still when they try to attack, so maybe I can get a head start.
Summary: The series' debut on the new generation plays like it belongs on the old ones. Capcom needs to stop catering for the fans, otherwise their next release is just going to be as dated and disappointing as this one.
Game Review: Halo Wars
Back in 2007, Sid Meier's Civilization Revolution proved to the world that there was still a place on consoles for strategy games. Now it's time for Ensemble, the brains behind the hugely successful Age of Empires series, to flex their development muscle. The result of their efforts is Halo Wars which, while many will cynically dismiss as a lacklustre attempt to flog the Halo cash piñata, they've actually made work remarkably well.
With the limitations of the 360 controller, Ensemble needed to come up with a control scheme that was not only simple, but versatile, and they've done just that. Basic commands - such as unit selection and movement - can be executed quickly with the A or X buttons, with other buttons being used for quick navigation of the map, squad selection or to access each unit's unique abilities. Researching new technologies or training squads is equally smooth, thanks to the intuitive wheel menus. It may not be as quick as a keyboard and mouse but this genuinely is the next best thing, and developers are going to struggle to come up with a system that works better than this.
Although, while Halo Wars leaps cleanly over the first hurdle, it begins to struggle a little when it comes to actual gameplay for one simple reason; they've forgotten to include any strategy beyond building a ton of units and setting them loose on an enemy base. Besides deciding which units to train and upgrade - a decision that will always revolve around "what is the biggest thing I can afford" - there isn't any thinking involved. The absolute lack of decent strategy means that the difficulty curve bounces around like a hyperactive Grunt on a jackhammer, with easier levels - where everything can be researched, trained or built very quickly - being insultingly easy while slightly harder - and therefore slower building - levels mercilessly kick your ass around the map before you can utter a single defeatist "Wort".
Halo Wars takes a stumble again with it's different factions, or in this case it's lack of. While each of the two factions (the UNSC and the Covenant, if you hadn't already guessed) have three different leaders, there aren't enough significant differences between these leader's unique units or abilities to give the gameplay any real variation. There's room for at least two other factions - the Flood and Sentinels - without even stretching the Halo mythology, and with both making appearances in the campaign it's hard to figure out why Ensemble chose to limit the playable factions when it's clearly something that could have been expanded.
The leaders themselves - the Covenant ones, to be precise - also present balance issue. Unlike their UNSC counterparts, Covenant leaders have a powerful physical presence on the battlefield as soon as the game begins and are easily able to single handedly defeat any quickly-assembled army you can muster. On top of that, there is no limit to have often they can use their special ability; while most units or leaders have to wait for their special abilities to recharge, Covenant leaders can use theirs so long as resources are high enough. Considering there are buildings that constantly replenish resources, these incredibly powerful abilities can be used indefinitely, which doesn't so much tilt the balance as completely flip it on it's head.
While there is little else wrong with the Skirmish mode, Halo War's Campaign decides to bring along a couple of extra problems. The obvious one is the lack of Covenant; despite there being more than enough opportunities to weave a few Covenant missions into the story (à la Halo 2) they're never playable during the solo campaign, before being pushed to the side at the end to make way for the Flood. It's difficult to see why they've been left out because while including the Covenant wouldn't have done much to vary the core "build as many big things as you can" gameplay, it could have given an otherwise insubstantial campaign some much needed extra length.
Perhaps the Covenant's absence from the Campaign wouldn't have been so noticeable if the UNSC weren't restricted so often. Unlike Skirmish, which allows you to freely build however many big things you can afford, Campaign randomly chops and changes what it will allow you to train. One of the best features about classics real-time strategy campaigns - including Age of Empires - was having you effort and time rewarded by unlocking new units and technologies as you advanced, but Halo War's habit of giving and taking with each new mission is as irritating as it is pointless.
It's easy to see where Ensemble went wrong with Halo Wars; in trying to achieve something new on the console, they've gone and forgotten what actually makes a strategy game fun. Variety, balance, and even actual strategy has been pushed to the side of the drawing board to make room for accessibility, leaving a game that, while simple to grasp, is otherwise shallow and basic. Still, purely by creating controls that work, Ensemble have proven that there is very much a future for the genre on the console. Let's just hope whoever decides to bring the next strategy game to the console puts a little more thought into the gameplay.
Summary: A promising step forward for the genre on consoles, Halo Wars handles well, although this doesn't do much to disguise what is ultimately a shallow, repetitive and unsatisfactory experience.
With the limitations of the 360 controller, Ensemble needed to come up with a control scheme that was not only simple, but versatile, and they've done just that. Basic commands - such as unit selection and movement - can be executed quickly with the A or X buttons, with other buttons being used for quick navigation of the map, squad selection or to access each unit's unique abilities. Researching new technologies or training squads is equally smooth, thanks to the intuitive wheel menus. It may not be as quick as a keyboard and mouse but this genuinely is the next best thing, and developers are going to struggle to come up with a system that works better than this.
Although, while Halo Wars leaps cleanly over the first hurdle, it begins to struggle a little when it comes to actual gameplay for one simple reason; they've forgotten to include any strategy beyond building a ton of units and setting them loose on an enemy base. Besides deciding which units to train and upgrade - a decision that will always revolve around "what is the biggest thing I can afford" - there isn't any thinking involved. The absolute lack of decent strategy means that the difficulty curve bounces around like a hyperactive Grunt on a jackhammer, with easier levels - where everything can be researched, trained or built very quickly - being insultingly easy while slightly harder - and therefore slower building - levels mercilessly kick your ass around the map before you can utter a single defeatist "Wort".
Halo Wars takes a stumble again with it's different factions, or in this case it's lack of. While each of the two factions (the UNSC and the Covenant, if you hadn't already guessed) have three different leaders, there aren't enough significant differences between these leader's unique units or abilities to give the gameplay any real variation. There's room for at least two other factions - the Flood and Sentinels - without even stretching the Halo mythology, and with both making appearances in the campaign it's hard to figure out why Ensemble chose to limit the playable factions when it's clearly something that could have been expanded.
The leaders themselves - the Covenant ones, to be precise - also present balance issue. Unlike their UNSC counterparts, Covenant leaders have a powerful physical presence on the battlefield as soon as the game begins and are easily able to single handedly defeat any quickly-assembled army you can muster. On top of that, there is no limit to have often they can use their special ability; while most units or leaders have to wait for their special abilities to recharge, Covenant leaders can use theirs so long as resources are high enough. Considering there are buildings that constantly replenish resources, these incredibly powerful abilities can be used indefinitely, which doesn't so much tilt the balance as completely flip it on it's head.
While there is little else wrong with the Skirmish mode, Halo War's Campaign decides to bring along a couple of extra problems. The obvious one is the lack of Covenant; despite there being more than enough opportunities to weave a few Covenant missions into the story (à la Halo 2) they're never playable during the solo campaign, before being pushed to the side at the end to make way for the Flood. It's difficult to see why they've been left out because while including the Covenant wouldn't have done much to vary the core "build as many big things as you can" gameplay, it could have given an otherwise insubstantial campaign some much needed extra length.
Perhaps the Covenant's absence from the Campaign wouldn't have been so noticeable if the UNSC weren't restricted so often. Unlike Skirmish, which allows you to freely build however many big things you can afford, Campaign randomly chops and changes what it will allow you to train. One of the best features about classics real-time strategy campaigns - including Age of Empires - was having you effort and time rewarded by unlocking new units and technologies as you advanced, but Halo War's habit of giving and taking with each new mission is as irritating as it is pointless.
It's easy to see where Ensemble went wrong with Halo Wars; in trying to achieve something new on the console, they've gone and forgotten what actually makes a strategy game fun. Variety, balance, and even actual strategy has been pushed to the side of the drawing board to make room for accessibility, leaving a game that, while simple to grasp, is otherwise shallow and basic. Still, purely by creating controls that work, Ensemble have proven that there is very much a future for the genre on the console. Let's just hope whoever decides to bring the next strategy game to the console puts a little more thought into the gameplay.
Summary: A promising step forward for the genre on consoles, Halo Wars handles well, although this doesn't do much to disguise what is ultimately a shallow, repetitive and unsatisfactory experience.
Tuesday 23 June 2009
Natal bends down and picks up honours at Game Critic awards
Microsoft's newly announced Project Natal has won Best Hardware/Peripheral of E3 2009 at the Game Critics Awards.
Natal has caused a stir among the gaming community since it's announcement at E3 earlier this month, and Microsoft's Creative Director of European Studios, Peter Molyneux (seen here revealing how many inches his ears add to the width of his head), was only too willing to blurt out details about Microsoft's ambitions for the project.
"We're going to revolutionise gaming as we know it." claimed Molyneux. "Right now games are played with a controller, but with Natal we can remove that. Imagine being able to play through Fable 2 purely by twitching your eyebrows. That's the kind of thing we're aiming towards."
Another success story from the award ceremony was DS game Scribblenauts. The Little Big Planet imitator picked up the award for Best Original Game, with the irony sadly lost on the voting American editors.
Natal has caused a stir among the gaming community since it's announcement at E3 earlier this month, and Microsoft's Creative Director of European Studios, Peter Molyneux (seen here revealing how many inches his ears add to the width of his head), was only too willing to blurt out details about Microsoft's ambitions for the project."We're going to revolutionise gaming as we know it." claimed Molyneux. "Right now games are played with a controller, but with Natal we can remove that. Imagine being able to play through Fable 2 purely by twitching your eyebrows. That's the kind of thing we're aiming towards."
Another success story from the award ceremony was DS game Scribblenauts. The Little Big Planet imitator picked up the award for Best Original Game, with the irony sadly lost on the voting American editors.
Friday 19 June 2009
Bleszinski to "Nintendo" the Gears franchise
Developer Cliff Bleszinski has made it clear that he intends to milk the Gears of War franchise for all it's worth.
Bleszinski, seen here posing for the Game Developer Douchebags of America calender in which he features as ten of the months, says that there have "Only been two identical Gears of War games so far" and that there is room on the market for three, or maybe even four even more identical instalments in the popular franchise.
"There is still a lot of things you can do in a cover based shooter." claimed Bleszinski. "There are a lot of melee weapons that we haven't even thought of glueing onto a gun yet.". Bleszinski went on to say that there are "still lots of stories to tell in the Gears universe" while clutching a rented copy of Starship Troopers 3: Marauder and cheekily winking to nearby development staff.
One interviewer, who dared to suggest that Bleszinski might be milking the franchise to satisfy his monumental ego, was quickly silenced as Cliffy B aimed a rubber Lancer at the protester, shouting "Pew Pew Pew you're dead". Security escorting the protester off the premises as the developer held the Lancer aloft and made triumphant revving noises with his mouth, before swaggering off to go buy another girly earring.
Bleszinski, seen here posing for the Game Developer Douchebags of America calender in which he features as ten of the months, says that there have "Only been two identical Gears of War games so far" and that there is room on the market for three, or maybe even four even more identical instalments in the popular franchise."There is still a lot of things you can do in a cover based shooter." claimed Bleszinski. "There are a lot of melee weapons that we haven't even thought of glueing onto a gun yet.". Bleszinski went on to say that there are "still lots of stories to tell in the Gears universe" while clutching a rented copy of Starship Troopers 3: Marauder and cheekily winking to nearby development staff.
One interviewer, who dared to suggest that Bleszinski might be milking the franchise to satisfy his monumental ego, was quickly silenced as Cliffy B aimed a rubber Lancer at the protester, shouting "Pew Pew Pew you're dead". Security escorting the protester off the premises as the developer held the Lancer aloft and made triumphant revving noises with his mouth, before swaggering off to go buy another girly earring.
Thursday 18 June 2009
Obama condemned by PETA after fly swatting
PETA have criticised US President Barack Obama for his brutal murdering of a fly
The spotlight-loving animal rights activists have branded the President as "inhumane" after he performed a grievous act of violence on the insect.
The assault was performed during an interview with CNBC's John Harwood, where Obama can clearly be seen taking a swipe, exclaiming "Quit flying up in ma face, yo", with the fly dropping to the ground moments later. Obama then went on to boast "Take that sucka!" before continuing with the interview as if nothing had happened.
The swipe itself was described by onlookers as "something between a karate chop and a full on pimp slap". Vice President Joe Biden went on to say the action was "wickedy wickedy fly, yo", before putting a baseball cap on backwards, sauntering up to the President and offering some "big up respec'" for his lightning-fast strike.
However, it appears PETA have taken offence at Obama's inhumane and reckless actions, even going as far to say that the President's fly swatting was "borderline psychopathic". Spokesman Bruce Freidrich protested against the swat, claiming that "flies are people too, and they should be treated with just as much respect as another human being" and that Obama's actions "would only further encourage abuse towards insects.".
Freidrich then went on to say that Obama would be forgiven by the organisation if he laid a dookie on the steps of the White House and "allowed nearby flies to feast upon it without threat of violence", although White House security deemed the chances of this happening were "unlikely", due to the high probability of someone attempting to steal the faeces and sell it on eBay.
The spotlight-loving animal rights activists have branded the President as "inhumane" after he performed a grievous act of violence on the insect.
The assault was performed during an interview with CNBC's John Harwood, where Obama can clearly be seen taking a swipe, exclaiming "Quit flying up in ma face, yo", with the fly dropping to the ground moments later. Obama then went on to boast "Take that sucka!" before continuing with the interview as if nothing had happened.
The swipe itself was described by onlookers as "something between a karate chop and a full on pimp slap". Vice President Joe Biden went on to say the action was "wickedy wickedy fly, yo", before putting a baseball cap on backwards, sauntering up to the President and offering some "big up respec'" for his lightning-fast strike.
However, it appears PETA have taken offence at Obama's inhumane and reckless actions, even going as far to say that the President's fly swatting was "borderline psychopathic". Spokesman Bruce Freidrich protested against the swat, claiming that "flies are people too, and they should be treated with just as much respect as another human being" and that Obama's actions "would only further encourage abuse towards insects.".
Freidrich then went on to say that Obama would be forgiven by the organisation if he laid a dookie on the steps of the White House and "allowed nearby flies to feast upon it without threat of violence", although White House security deemed the chances of this happening were "unlikely", due to the high probability of someone attempting to steal the faeces and sell it on eBay.
Wednesday 17 June 2009
BNP leader Nick Griffin claims crusty jugglers shouldn't get what's coming to 'em
Following a BNP attack on a group of Romanian Gypsies in Belfast yesterday, Nick Griffin has both condemned and defended the actions of supporters of his party.
Griffin said of the event that "No one wants to see any person attacked, and that any right-minded person would condemn the attacks.". He then went on to add that "The bastards shouldn't have been here in the first place, and they're all criminals anyway.".
It's an action that comes just as the BNP were attempting to further establish themselves as a respectable political party in the wake of their election victories in the North West and Yorkshire, although Nick Griffin stated he was confident that the party's reputation would not be significantly hindered by this because anyone thick enough to not know the BNP's immigration policy of "Bricks and velocity" is too busy ranting about the MP's expenses scandal that nobody really cares about any more.
This attack by the BNP on a group of gypsies in a church follows a day after an article on the BNP website that has dubbed a former Labour minister a "racist thug". Nick Griffin then went on to defend his concept of irony, stating that it was "Like rain on your wedding day".
Griffin said of the event that "No one wants to see any person attacked, and that any right-minded person would condemn the attacks.". He then went on to add that "The bastards shouldn't have been here in the first place, and they're all criminals anyway.".
It's an action that comes just as the BNP were attempting to further establish themselves as a respectable political party in the wake of their election victories in the North West and Yorkshire, although Nick Griffin stated he was confident that the party's reputation would not be significantly hindered by this because anyone thick enough to not know the BNP's immigration policy of "Bricks and velocity" is too busy ranting about the MP's expenses scandal that nobody really cares about any more.
This attack by the BNP on a group of gypsies in a church follows a day after an article on the BNP website that has dubbed a former Labour minister a "racist thug". Nick Griffin then went on to defend his concept of irony, stating that it was "Like rain on your wedding day".
NASA decide that Moon doesn't have enough craters.
A team of NASA scientists have decided to make their jobs more interesting by blowing a massive chunk out of the Moon.
The team, led by Kimberly Ennico, have finally gotten bored of staring at the same floating rock in space every day, and instead of finding something worthwhile to do have opted to just make another great big hole in it.
Kimberly Ennico said of the billion dollar undertaking: "There is only so much of the Moon a team of scientists can really look at, and after a while it becomes a little tedious. Imagine watching paint dry, except the paint is several hundred-thousand miles away and has been dry for several decades. We're just trying to make our lives a little more interesting.".
She then went on to meet criticism of the expensive endeavour by claiming that "There might be some water up there", because apparently the colossal and inexhaustible supply of water on the Earth's surface doesn't quite cut it any more.
Despite some criticism, many scientists have joined Ms Ennico in defending the act, stating that not only would it be "seriously fucking cool, man", but are also convinced that this action will further confirm whether or not the Moon is in fact made of cheese, and if so what kind.
"A few large chunks would probably suggest some kind of cheddar, while a sprinkling or crumbly residue would point towards something like feta or parmesan." claimed one scientist, who later insisted that current study has proven it "wouldn't be any of that poncey blue shit.".
The team, led by Kimberly Ennico, have finally gotten bored of staring at the same floating rock in space every day, and instead of finding something worthwhile to do have opted to just make another great big hole in it.
Kimberly Ennico said of the billion dollar undertaking: "There is only so much of the Moon a team of scientists can really look at, and after a while it becomes a little tedious. Imagine watching paint dry, except the paint is several hundred-thousand miles away and has been dry for several decades. We're just trying to make our lives a little more interesting.".
She then went on to meet criticism of the expensive endeavour by claiming that "There might be some water up there", because apparently the colossal and inexhaustible supply of water on the Earth's surface doesn't quite cut it any more.
Despite some criticism, many scientists have joined Ms Ennico in defending the act, stating that not only would it be "seriously fucking cool, man", but are also convinced that this action will further confirm whether or not the Moon is in fact made of cheese, and if so what kind.
"A few large chunks would probably suggest some kind of cheddar, while a sprinkling or crumbly residue would point towards something like feta or parmesan." claimed one scientist, who later insisted that current study has proven it "wouldn't be any of that poncey blue shit.".
Monday 15 June 2009
Blog post thing.
Just to quickly prove to myself that this time I'm actually going to stick with something I claimed to be doing, I'm serving up the first slice of meaningless drivel - without proper spell checking or anything. I'm living dangerously, baby.
So Friday I had an Editorial Writing exam, which is basically where the exam board sends you two packs on two random topics they've chosen (I'm assuming the "random article" button on Wikipedia is involved somewhere in their decision making process) and then ask you to write a 1000-word piece on it, which can be in pretty much any style. It's basically their way of fucking with you - you can be asked to write anything about anything - so properly researching the two packs is very important preparation.
But being naturally lazy, I didn't do that. Instead it was more a case of picking up the packs two days late, quickly deciding which one to do (a choice between Senior Fitness or Twin Peaks, a cult television show from the 90s, didn't seem like a tough call at the time) and then just highlighting the fuck out of thirty pages of words. So, there was me tottering into the exam hall with a thick wedge of luminous pink paper thinking "A-ha, I'm well prepared for this", just before the questions bitch-slap me into reality and I spend two and a half hours trying to remember what Radio 2 is like so I can write a script for it.
I couldn't help but think "Maybe I should have done the other one" all the way through, which just made me realise how lazy I was. It wasn't "Maybe I should prepare both", no. Either way my choice had to include some sort of apathy towards something. I suppose I should have tried to look at both, but even though they were so different I'd have still gotten them confused. All through the exam I'd have had this image in my head of an old woman doing star jumps while her Twin Peaks bounced lazily up and down like sad melons in plastic bags. No thanks.
Still, the weekend following it was good, spent Saturday celebrating my girlfriend's 19th and Sunday dorking it up on the 360 while she stole my room to revise, with the occasional break to clean up puppy piss. Wouldn't have minded it so much if he didn't look so proud of himself when he saw me cleaning it up, almost as if he was gloating. Or maybe he was just expecting me to feed him cheese. Either way he decided it was a good idea to galavant off with all the kitchen roll and trail it around the house before leaving a shapely turd on the doormat. Aren't puppies adorable?
So yeah, that was the last three days of my relatively uneventful life. Hopefully it'll get more interesting as I keep writing this - or I'll at least be able to throw in enough cock gags to make it semi-enjoyable. In the mean time, try not to hurl too much abuse. I'm new to this stuff and still figuring out the kinks.
Oh yeah, uploading the Halo Wars review tonight when I get back from work, so that'll be up in...er...some hours.
So Friday I had an Editorial Writing exam, which is basically where the exam board sends you two packs on two random topics they've chosen (I'm assuming the "random article" button on Wikipedia is involved somewhere in their decision making process) and then ask you to write a 1000-word piece on it, which can be in pretty much any style. It's basically their way of fucking with you - you can be asked to write anything about anything - so properly researching the two packs is very important preparation.
But being naturally lazy, I didn't do that. Instead it was more a case of picking up the packs two days late, quickly deciding which one to do (a choice between Senior Fitness or Twin Peaks, a cult television show from the 90s, didn't seem like a tough call at the time) and then just highlighting the fuck out of thirty pages of words. So, there was me tottering into the exam hall with a thick wedge of luminous pink paper thinking "A-ha, I'm well prepared for this", just before the questions bitch-slap me into reality and I spend two and a half hours trying to remember what Radio 2 is like so I can write a script for it.
I couldn't help but think "Maybe I should have done the other one" all the way through, which just made me realise how lazy I was. It wasn't "Maybe I should prepare both", no. Either way my choice had to include some sort of apathy towards something. I suppose I should have tried to look at both, but even though they were so different I'd have still gotten them confused. All through the exam I'd have had this image in my head of an old woman doing star jumps while her Twin Peaks bounced lazily up and down like sad melons in plastic bags. No thanks.
Still, the weekend following it was good, spent Saturday celebrating my girlfriend's 19th and Sunday dorking it up on the 360 while she stole my room to revise, with the occasional break to clean up puppy piss. Wouldn't have minded it so much if he didn't look so proud of himself when he saw me cleaning it up, almost as if he was gloating. Or maybe he was just expecting me to feed him cheese. Either way he decided it was a good idea to galavant off with all the kitchen roll and trail it around the house before leaving a shapely turd on the doormat. Aren't puppies adorable?
So yeah, that was the last three days of my relatively uneventful life. Hopefully it'll get more interesting as I keep writing this - or I'll at least be able to throw in enough cock gags to make it semi-enjoyable. In the mean time, try not to hurl too much abuse. I'm new to this stuff and still figuring out the kinks.
Oh yeah, uploading the Halo Wars review tonight when I get back from work, so that'll be up in...er...some hours.
Thursday 11 June 2009
Update - four reviews next week, other stuff, blah blah blah
Since I've been holding back all reviews for the last four months while waiting for this new site everything I've done has become pretty out of date - not to mention a total lack of motivation on my part because of the "well if nobody's reading it I don't have to write it" thoughts that go through my mind every time I sit down to do anything mildly creative or critical - so I've decided to just crack on with stuff now and go back to posting things on here.
The reviews I've managed to get done are (I'm actually straining to remember as I type this) Halo Wars, Resident Evil 5, Street Fighter IV and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. I know, four in four months is pretty shit, but now that I've got some proper incentive to write (that somebody will actually be reading it now) I should be able to get a few more done.
Immediate stuff I've got planned are two full game reviews - Red Faction: Guerilla (which is class, by the way) and Prototype (picking that up tomorrow) - and a DLC review - Fable 2's See The Future, which I might as well just copy paste from the Knothole Island review and replace certain words.
Keep meaning to get back into films but because I'm working now (hurray, money) it's a bit of a faff finding time during the week, and obviously weekends I spend with my girlfriend, who's not always that bothered about going to the cinema. Will try and get back into that over summer, as well as TV.
Also, while I've got time on my hands I might as well start doing actual blogging, instead of just updating a couple of times a week with "By the way I'm writing this". Most of it will be totally pointless, but I'll try and get a few laughs out of it. Besides, it's all good practise!
Right, that's me done, I'm off to highlight some more stuff for an exam tomorrow - which is going to be the first time I've had to wake up early in the morning for a good few months. Sad times, man.
Cheers for reading this, sorry for the delay, more stuff coming soon, yada yada yada.
The reviews I've managed to get done are (I'm actually straining to remember as I type this) Halo Wars, Resident Evil 5, Street Fighter IV and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. I know, four in four months is pretty shit, but now that I've got some proper incentive to write (that somebody will actually be reading it now) I should be able to get a few more done.
Immediate stuff I've got planned are two full game reviews - Red Faction: Guerilla (which is class, by the way) and Prototype (picking that up tomorrow) - and a DLC review - Fable 2's See The Future, which I might as well just copy paste from the Knothole Island review and replace certain words.
Keep meaning to get back into films but because I'm working now (hurray, money) it's a bit of a faff finding time during the week, and obviously weekends I spend with my girlfriend, who's not always that bothered about going to the cinema. Will try and get back into that over summer, as well as TV.
Also, while I've got time on my hands I might as well start doing actual blogging, instead of just updating a couple of times a week with "By the way I'm writing this". Most of it will be totally pointless, but I'll try and get a few laughs out of it. Besides, it's all good practise!
Right, that's me done, I'm off to highlight some more stuff for an exam tomorrow - which is going to be the first time I've had to wake up early in the morning for a good few months. Sad times, man.
Cheers for reading this, sorry for the delay, more stuff coming soon, yada yada yada.
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