Film Review: Wall-E

Directed by veteran Andrew Stanton, ‘Wall-E’ is the latest release by Pixar Animation Studios. I’ve grown up watching and loving Pixar films and, after the sheer brilliance of Ratatouille, I was embarrassingly excited before seeing Wall-E. What can I say, my inner child probably isn’t as “inner” as it should be.

The film follows Wall-E, a small robot working alone on a polluted and deserted Earth. After cleaning the planet alone for hundreds of years, Wall-E has developed a childish curiosity, and a longing for affection. So when the sleek, modern EVE drops out of orbit, a love story between the two sparks. After discovering plants on the surface of the Earth, EVE leaves the planet, with a smitten Wall-E in pursuit. It’s the most basic concept in the world, but Pixar have pulled it off magnificently, and it’s resulted in a story that’s not only surprisingly unique, but completely adorable.

Something which originally surprised me about the film was the apparent lack of dialogue, but I have to say it worked brilliantly in Wall-E. All the emotion is captured so beautifully in the animations of the characters, that anything more than the basic dialogue in the film would have probably worked against the animation, and it might not have been so easy to connect to the characters.

With Pixar films you expect great work with animation and CGI, but with Wall-E they’ve out done themselves. Seriously, this is one of the best looking films I’ve seen in my entire life, and some of the sequences are genuinely incredible. Parts of it felt so real, that I was genuinely debating in my head whether it was animated or not. Whether it’s simply Wall-E rummaging through dirt, or dipping his hand into a comet trail as he drifts through space, it’s incredible to watch and genuinely beautiful. It’s weird saying that the film feels alive, considering it’s almost completely CGI and about typically inanimate objects, but it does, which is a massive achievement even by Pixar’s standards.

Pixar music is usually fantastic, there’s a reason most of their films have been awarded an Oscar nomination for their musical scores. Wall-E is no different, the music score is almost perfect. The songs themselves are excellent, and never felt out of place with the animation on screen, with the animation and music in perfect harmony.

I don’t think I need to say that Wall-E is a brilliant film, but I’m going to. Over and over. Wall-E does everything right, and I honestly can’t find a single flaw with it. Yes, Wall-E is aimed at kids like every other Pixar film, but it’s so damn adorable and beautiful that I didn’t care. Perfectly balancing the comedy with the love story, Wall-E is one of the best films I’ve seen in years.

5/5

See the trailer here.

Reviews and Previews

Thanks to the current lull in game releases I’ll probably only manage one review this week, which will probably be Wall-E. I’m still not sure why I haven’t seen this film yet, since I’ve wanted to see it since it was released. Obviously I was too busy reviewing films about a man who couldn’t get it up, which probably says a lot about me. Oh dear…

As well as that review, I’m also tempted to do a September Preview. It’s nothing spectacular, it’ll just be a fairly detailed list of all the games I’ll be reviewing next month. I’ll probably chuck in a few screenshots, predictions, and the usual attempts at humour, to try and make it worth your time.

Hopefully you’ve enjoyed the recent reviews, I’m fairly happy with most of them. As usual, I’m completely open to criticism, so if you don’t like something I’m doing or think there’s something I need to work on, then let me know in the comments section.

Thanks for reading,

Tom

Film Review: Hellboy 2: The Golden Army

In contrast to the other superhero movies I’ve reviewed this summer I don’t really know much about the Hellboy franchise. I didn’t think that 2004’s ‘Hellboy’ was much better than average but, due to my unconditional love of director Guillermo del Toro, I decided to give this film the benefit of the doubt.

Hellboy 2 follows a similar story to the first Hellboy movie. The fate of humanity is, once again, at stake, and only the harbinger of a future apocalypse can save it. It’s an irony that, personally, I really appreciate, since it’s something that’s increasingly hard to come by in most mainstream movies. While the main plotline is fairly straightforward, there are enough subplots following individual characters to give the film a decent amount of depth, and the extra character detail is something that, as a relative newcomer to the series, I was thankful for.

As well as a solid plot, Hellboy 2 has a spectacular amount of beautifully animated creatures on show. While not quite living up to the beauty of del Toro’s visionary Pan’s Labyrinth, there is still some excellent animation and design in the film. In general the film is presented brilliantly, and it really adds to the entertainment value when something looks as good as Hellboy 2 does.

The performances, in general, were solid, if unspectacular. Apart from Hellboy (Ron Pearlman) and the antagonist Nuada (Luke Goss), nobody really stood out as being far above average. I’m not saying that any of the cast were necessarily bad, they just failed to engage my interest for longer than the occasional brief spell. However, it’s probably unfair to blame the cast entirely, as the dialogue is filled with cheesy, clichéd one liners, and as a result feels incredibly forced.

Now I’m a huge fan of del Toro, he’s probably my all time favourite director. But I don’t think that directing action movies comes as naturally to him as directing movies such as Pan’s Labyrinth or The Orphanage. Don’t get me wrong, some of his recognisable traits - such as creating fantastic creatures - are still present in Hellboy 2. But he ends up overloading the film with silly clichés and bad one liners. I’d like to think that it’s intentional, that del Toro doesn’t intend for the movie to be taken seriously. But the end result is still the same; a movie that, while entertaining, still feels forced.

I still enjoyed Hellboy 2, but it’s not as good as I’d hoped. However, it’s a step up from the previous film, so I’ll be keeping tabs on any potential sequels. I have a feeling that Hellboy still has a lot to offer, and with del Toro behind it, hopefully the potential can be realised.

3/5

Film Review: Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Warning: The following review contains copious amounts of nerd rage.


Serving as the curtain raiser to the upcoming television series, ‘Star Wars: The Clone Wars’ is the latest attempt to breathe life into the iconic science-fiction franchise. I’ve been a Star Wars fan for as long as I can remember, and I remember loving the 2003 Clone Wars miniseries, but I was still sceptical about this film. Still, how bad can a Star Wars film be?

Even when compared to Episodes I and II of the Star Wars saga, The Clone Wars has an incredibly weak plot. Everything in the film, from the introduction of Anakin Skywalker’s new Padawan to the elaborate kidnapping of Jabba the Hutt’s son, feels like it has been badly pieced together from child’s fan fiction. Established fan favourites such as Yoda and Mace Windu barely feature, instead being replaced by undeveloped, high pitched newcomers that almost made me miss Jar Jar Binks. Almost. All this combined with the silly twisting and turning of the plot, results in arguably the worst Star Wars film of all time. And you thought Pod Racing was bad.

The poor storyline isn’t helped at all by the incredibly irritating characters. I always thought that pre-respirator Skywalker was a whiney little bitch and his repetitive, predictable banter with his cocky, high pitched Padawan Ahsoka only helped to reinforce that belief. They even managed to make great characters like Obi-Wan Kenobi and Jabba the Hutt unbearably annoying, which even by George Lucas’s current standards is an incredible feat. The majority of the voice acting is so wooden and dull that I’m convinced that the entire script was written on hundred dollar bills, just to remind the cast of the sole reason why they were actually in the recording studio, they just sound that passionless and uninterested.

It’s a bit harsh to focus my rant on the voice acting because, to be fair, it does the animation justice. The standard of CGI in films is ridiculously high in the current box office, and the animation in The Clone Wars falls a long way short of those standards. The art style, which was supposed to resemble anime, resulted in choppy, robotic animation. What particularly annoyed me about the animation was that the style used in the Clone Wars miniseries was abandoned, and I was a massive fan of that style. Obviously that is just personal taste, but I don’t understand why a proven, popular style was trashed.

The redeeming factor of the film was the musical score. A decent blend of new music and the excellent original Star Wars themes form a very good soundtrack, but it’s still not enough for me to recommend the film to anyone.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars is the disappointment of the summer. After the success of Tartakovsky’s series, I expected this film to deliver, but it falls way short of the mark. It feels like the production team took every negative comment anyone has ever made about the new trilogy, and crammed it all into two hours of badly animated, childish trash. Nice going, George.

2/5

If I haven’t put you off the film, see the trailer here.

Game Review: Ninja Gaiden II (Xbox 360)

Ninja Gaiden II is the latest release from specialist developers Team Ninja. I remember playing and loving 2004’s Ninja Gaiden on the first Xbox, and as a result I was determined to sink my teeth into Ninja Gaiden II. The hype around this game was massive but, with the developers extensive and successful history, I was convinced Gaiden II would live up to it.

Like the other games in the series, Gaiden II follows Ryu Hayabusa, a Dragon Ninja from the Hayabusa clan. At the start of the game, Ryu learns that the Black Spider Clan have attacked his village, and are now plotting to resurrect the Archfiend. As stories go it’s not the best, and it’s not particularly well explained during the cutscenes, but who cares? I was just happy to be slicing things up.

The core element of Ninja Gaiden II’s gameplay is the combat system which is, as you’d expect from Team Ninja, excellent. The simple control layout (which I’m invariably going to compare to the brilliant Devil May Cry 4) works brilliantly with the incredibly fast paced gameplay, to give you one of the smoothest combat experiences that I’ve ever seen in a game. Even if you are just mashing buttons randomly, you’ll be awestruck at how effortlessly stylish the game makes you feel.

I don’t mean to sound like a sadistic psycho but I think I speak for a large part of the gaming community when I say that, while cutting through thousands of enemies is fun, it’s much more fun when you’ve got a lot of different toys to do it with. Ninja Gaiden II gives you that, which allows you to vary your style constantly as you’re playing through the game. As well as the standard issue sword there are scythes, bows, shuriken and claws that you can use to carve your way through limitless hordes of enemies. Each weapon fights that little bit differently, so I can almost guarantee there will be something to suit you’re preferred style.

Everyone knows that two swords are infinitely more badass than one sword.

While the combat makes up the bulk of the gameplay there is a platforming aspect to Gaiden II, which allows you to run along walls, hop across water, and wall jump your way up huge buildings. Normally I’m not a big fan of platforming because I’m absolutely pants at it, but I really enjoyed this. Like the combat, the platforming is incredibly stylish with minimal effort, and as a result is great fun. With the platforming and combat seamlessly combining, you’ve got one hell of a gameplay experience.

So you’ve got the slick action, and you’ve got a bunch of sharp objects at your disposal. Personally I’d be happy with that, but Ninja Gaiden II goes the extra mile, and gives us something we’d never admit to wanting: excessive gore. I don’t think I’ve ever seen as many limbs flying around on screen as I have in this game and I absolutely love it, simply because I’m making the limbs fly so effortlessly. This is the kind of gore that would satisfy someone who uses a potato peeler to pleasure himself, it’s f**king brilliant.

Just a flesh wound.

The bulk of Ninja Gaiden II is absolutely superb, and it ranks as one of the better hack and slash games I’ve played. Unfortunately, the game has a tendency to shuriken itself in the foot.

Like most hack and slash games, Ninja Gaiden II has the occasional boss battles, which are meant to present a greater challenge to the player. Normally I’m cool with this, I remember loving the boss battles in Devil May Cry 4, but Ninja Gaiden II takes it a little too far. The excessive spikes in difficulty level take a lot of enjoyment out of the game, and it gets to the point where you’re not being challenged, you’re just getting your ass kicked. Beating a boss isn’t particularly satisfying either, because you know that another, harder boss is only 10 minutes away. Admittedly I did get used to the difficulty spikes, but I honestly don’t think I would have bothered playing much more after the second boss, if I didn’t have to write this review.

Yep, that's a wolf with four arms, wielding a scythe twice your size, and there are other wolves backing him up. Excessive? You bet your ass it is.

The other big flaw in the game is the camera. Gaiden II uses the third person, “over the shoulder” camera, which I’m usually a big fan of. But when it’s constantly conflicting with the level design and the environment, it becomes very annoying. I’m all for close combat and platforming, but when the camera is constantly being obstructed by pillars and walls it becomes frustrating, and makes the gameplay almost impossible.

Despite Team Ninja’s history of ground breaking, beautiful games, I felt Gaiden II looked a little dated. Don’t get me wrong, the characters, environments and gore look very good, for the most part. But some animations looked a little robotic, whilst most enemies were fairly generic. Maybe I’m just being picky or my standards are too high, but Gaiden II just doesn’t look as good as I expected it to.

All that said, Ninja Gaiden II is still a very good game. Apart from some glaring issues, the vast bulk of the game is still superb. A warning to casual players, though: This game is going to kick your ass round the block. Twice. It’s an incredibly tough game to beat, but if you like hack and slash games, you’ll definitely have fun with it. For me, Gaiden II falls just short of the hype, but it’s still a great game, and I recommend it to anyone who has enjoyed a hack and slash game before. Or just for anyone who ever got a kick out of dissection in science class.

8/10

Back in the game

I’ve decided that it’s about time I got back into the routine I had started before my holiday, by reviewing one game and one movie a week. So next week, I’ll be reviewing Ninja Gaiden II for the Xbox 360, and Star Wars: The Clone Wars, a new animated Star Wars film. If I don’t get too distracted (no promises), the Ninja Gaiden II review will be up before Friday, and The Clone Wars should be up on Sunday.

So, that’s my update for now, hope you’re looking forward to the reviews, I know I’m looking forward to writing them.

Cheers,

Tom

Let’s get things started…

Bloody hell, first blog post. This is scary...

I’ll get the basic stuff out of the way first. My name’s Tom, and I’m an amateur writer. I’ve set up this blogspot so that a few more people could see and, hopefully, enjoy my work.

All my writing so far has been reviews. I’ve been writing film and game reviews for almost six months for block17. Now I want to write more often, broaden my audience, and eventually take my writing to a professional level. Hopefully this blogspot and the site I’m currently working on will help me to do that.

In the near future I want to try different styles of writing besides reviews. Blogging, previews, overviews and satirical writing are all possibilities that I’m looking into, but it’s all up in the air at the moment.

Anyway, I should probably round this thing off before I send you to sleep. Thank you for checking out my blog, I hope you enjoy reading through the first three articles I’ve posted, and I hope you check back in the future. I write at least one piece a week if not two, and they’ll all be posted up here, so check back regularly if you like what I write. Don’t be afraid to criticise me either, I love a bit of criticism and it will only help me improve.

Feel free to make requests for reviews. I’ve got a lot of free time on my hands at the moment, and I’d love to help you out if I can.

Thanks again,

Tom

Film Review: The Dark Knight

As the sequel to the 2005 movie ‘Batman Begins‘, ‘The Dark Knight’ is Batman’s latest movie venture. With director Christopher Nolan and lead actor Christian Bale both returning, as well as the introduction of the late Heath Ledger as The Joker, this movie looked like one of the best of a very good summer line up.

Compared to Begins, The Dark Knight seems a little shallow. The insight into Bruce Wayne/Batman’s character has been replaced with maniacal laughter, constant moral dilemmas, and big explosions. Still, this isn’t a bad thing, because it makes the film incredibly entertaining. Maybe I’m just a sucker for mindless violence and brutality. While The Dark Knight isn’t quite as deep as Begins, it’s definitely darker, and this is thanks to Heath Ledger’s incredible portrayal of the Joker. Batman’s arch nemesis has never been quite so insane and erratic, and he’s genuinely funny as well as disturbing. He’s absolutely brilliant to watch, and easily one of the best villains I’ve ever seen in a movie.

The appearance of Two Face (Aaron Eckhart), albeit late in the movie, was also excellent. Nolan’s interpretation and design of Two Face is superb, and works incredibly well with the tone of the new series. As well as being an incredibly dark character, there’s also a lot of symbolism surrounding Two Face, as a tribute to the old comic books, which I appreciated even as a relatively new Batman fan.

The performances in general are superb. Special mention has to go to Ledger, Bale, Caine and Eckhart, who were all, as you would expect, top quality. Ledger in particular should be singled out for a flawless performance as the Joker, and I’ll be genuinely stunned if this performance doesn’t earn him an Oscar nomination. Maggie Gyllenhaal, who replaces Katie Holmes as love interest Rachel Dawes, was the only member of the cast that left me feeling a little under whelmed, as she put in a fairly average performance.

Now that most of the summers heavy hitters have come and gone, I think I can safely state that The Dark Knight will be the film of the summer. It’s superbly dark and gritty, and while the lightning fast pace of the plot seems to have been written at the expense of a deeper story, it’s still the best film I’ve seen at the cinema for a long time. If you haven’t seen a movie yet this summer, go out and see this one, even if you’re not a Batman fan. You won’t be disappointed with what The Dark Knight has to offer.

5/5

See the trailer here

Film Review: A Complete History of My Sexual Failures.

Realising that the last five movies I’ve seen and reviewed were all big budget Hollywood action flicks, I decided it was time for a little bit of diversity. So in an attempt to culture myself , I picked up a leaflet for the local independent cinema, and eventually decided on seeing Chris Waitt’s documentary ‘A Complete History of My Sexual Failures‘.

The film begins with a monologue from director Chris Waitt, the focus of the documentary, describing his unfortunate dating past. He’s been dumped by every single one of his girlfriends, and the purpose of the film is to figure out why. This initial idea ends up being tossed aside (no pun intended), as Waitt ambles around the country in a pair of scruffy jeans, and finds himself in dozens of surreal situations. Everything is made that little bit more interesting with Waitt’s sense of humour, willingness to attempt new things, and his naivety.

Over the course of the film we see Waitt meet with various old girlfriends in various different situations. Some slam the door in his face, others sit down for a civilised conversation, and one of them talks through a computer while hidden behind a screen. Most of these meetings are very funny and interesting (even if a couple of the interviewees are a little too focussed on the camera in the room), while some of the interviews are just surreal, especially one interview late in the film, which takes place with the interviewee behind a screen, typing her responses into a speech reader system. These interviews give us a lot of insight into Waitt’s personality and how it has evolved over the years, and also of the huge mistakes he has made with relationships.

Part way through, Waitt becomes distracted from his ex girlfriends, and starts investigating what he now believes is the root of his problems - his erectile dysfunction. Watching Waitt attending each therapy is very funny, and there’s a brilliant underlying cynicism that nobody quite seems to grasp. The attempts to overcome his problem eventually results in Waitt overdosing on viagra, leading to a hilarious scene with Waitt running round a city centre, desperately asking strangers on the street for sex. Because of this scene and some others like it, I had to remind myself that this film was a documentary, it was that surreal.

As well as the interesting and humorous side to this film, there are also some incredibly emotional moments. There is one specific moment that I will remember for a very long time, Chris Waitt telling his ex fiancé that he might still love her. It’s a genuinely emotional scene, and beautifully filmed to really capture the feelings of Waitt and his ex.

‘A Complete History of My Sexual Failures’ is an excellent film. Insightful, funny and incredibly surreal, it’s one of the best film I’ve seen in a long time. I wasn’t expecting to be quite as entertained as I was, but I was pleasantly surprised. I can’t see this film having mass appeal, and if you’re the kind of person who doesn’t like the sight of a grown mans cock being whipped in a sex dungeon, then I’m warning you now. But it is a superb documentary, and I’d highly recommend it to anyone.

5/5

Game Review: Soulcalibur IV (Xbox 360, PS3)

Soulcalibur IV is the newest game from the critically acclaimed Soul series. Normally I’m not a big fan of fighting games (with the exception of the Smash Bros series) but this game really got my attention. The screenshots looked brilliant, the characters looked diverse and, best of all, Yoda was in it. But would I enjoy the game itself, or just the novelty of jumping around as a little green man?

Instead of going straight online with Soulcalibur and having my ass handed to me, I decided to have a quick blast with the single player modes. Apparently my definition of “quick blast” is exactly the same as Namco’s definition of “entire single player experience”, because after about half an hour I’d successfully completed the story and arcade modes. I know that games like Soulcalibur, have never really offered much in the way of storyline or single player longevity, but a story mode lasting fifteen minutes, if that, is really disappointing. It’s a bit cheeky calling it a story mode in the first place, since there isn’t any real story to speak of, apart from some dull scrolling text at the beginning and a couple of cutscenes that don’t explain anything. Personally, I don’t see the point in creating a story mode if there isn’t a plot or any change in gameplay, it seems like a waste of time for player and developer.

This guy is pivotal to the storyline. Apparently.

The other single player modes, while limited, are probably a step up from the story mode. The new “Tower of Lost Souls” mode works a little like the “Bloody Palace” arena from Devil May Cry 4: you can choose to work your way up or down the tower, with the hardest fighting at the top. As you fight you gain rewards and experience, which can be used to enhance your character. It’s the longest of the single player modes, and probably the most challenging. Whether the challenge is getting to the top of the tower or forcing yourself to graft through all the fights for the rewards will depends on how much you enjoy playing Soulcalibur’s single player gameplay.

The other lonely game mode is the straight forward Arcade, and there’s nothing new here. It’s a straightforward line-up of eight different opponents fought on different stages. You collect experience as you go, and at the end you’ll receive some cash that can be spent on new characters, or on customising old characters. It’s simple and old fashioned, but it makes for great gameplay, and it’s exactly what I want from a fighter. The only real problem I had with the Arcade mode is that the difficulty always jumps around constantly. One fight you can be tearing into an opponent, pulling off great combos and finding everything laughably easy, only for the next opponent to slice you up like a soft lemon. But apart from that minor frustration it’s a good laugh, and you’ll constantly be persuading yourself that you have time for another go.

Time for another go, you have.

I’ve always used the single player as a stepping stone for the multiplayer, just to familiarise myself with the controls and characters. Unfortunately, the control system in Soulcalibur IV is a little difficult to get used to, because of a stupid default layout. Some buttons double up as completely different things, for example the taunt button will occasionally pull off an attack, if done at the right time. Pressing A+Y simultaneously has the exact same effect as pulling the left trigger, which is just stupid. Why not just set one command to A+Y, and something completely different to the left trigger? The whole control system seems a little broken to me, almost as if it’s encouraging button mashing. Now, I’ve got no problem with allowing button mashing, but encouraging it just means more people result to using repetitive moves and cheap tactics, which is incredibly frustrating.

All that said, it would be harsh to judge the game on single player alone. Incredibly harsh actually, since fighter games have always been made with multiplayer as the focus, and that‘s how I always remember playing them. So, how well does Soulcalibur IV fare as a multiplayer game, online and off? Pretty f**king awesome, actually.

The multiplayer in Soulcalibur works a lot like the Arcade mode: each player chooses a fighter, and then you kick the living crap out of each other. It’s the oldest, simplest idea in gaming ever, and it will never stop working. Fighting against other players is wild and unpredictable, with fights moving at an incredibly fast pace, and as a result the multiplayer is vastly superior to the single player. It’s incredibly accessible for new or casual players (I remember my girlfriend’s mocking laughter as she button mashed her way to 6 victories in a row), but the skill factor is still there for veteran fighters. Whether you’re a newcomer or a hardcore Soulcalibur player, you’re going to have a lot of fun with the multiplayer, because it’s fantastic, and easily one of the best multiplayer games I’ve ever experienced.

Multiplayer isn’t the only thing Soulcalibur IV does extremely well. The game boasts a superb character creation system, which is by far the most sophisticated I’ve seen in a console game. In character creation you can build your character from the ground up; choosing their fighting style, alignment, and the clothes they wear. You can even change the pitch and tone of their voice, in incredible detail. As well as creating your own character, you can also edit all of the games preset characters, and considering that there are so many presets, there are practically limitless customisation options, all of which can be used in any of the game modes. Creating and editing characters is brilliantly simple and incredibly intricate, and implemented superbly into the game.

Yeah, you can dress up your character as a rhino. F**king awesome.

As well as superb multiplayer and character creation, Soulcalibur IV boasts the best graphics I have seen in any game. Ever. Seriously, this game will make your eyes melt. Some of the characters wouldn’t look out of place in a Hollywood movie, they just look that impressive. I don’t think a game has managed to wow me with its graphics since Devil May Cry 4, but Soulcalibur is genuinely beautiful. You can say “graphics don’t matter” as much as you like, but when they’re this good, it really enhances the gameplay experience, and it really absorbs you into a game.

Sexually repressed Japanese game developers strike again.

Soulcalibur IV also boasts a good selection of instrumental tracks, which work really well with the tense, high adrenaline atmosphere of the gameplay. The only real flaw with the sound is something which doesn’t really need pointing out in a Japanese game: the voice acting. Apart from Yoda and the Apprentice, it all seems incredibly forced (no pun intended), and the bloke they’ve got to do the voice over for battles is just annoying. I know that it’s a really minor thing to be annoyed by, and it’s something that I’m sure other people might actually like. But it’s my review, and I’m going to complain about it if I want to. Ha.

So overall, Soulcalibur IV is a damn good game. What the game lacks in single player, it more than makes up for in the multiplayer modes. Casual gamers should definitely check this game out, but I wouldn’t recommend jumping in with a purchase. However, the hardcore fighters among you should definitely buy this game, because I can almost guarantee you’ll love it. It’s beautiful, slick, and incredibly good fun. Just don’t complain when your significant other beats the crap out of you on their first go.

8/10